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"I Spend My Lunch Break in the Morgue" Doctors, What’s Your Best Advice for Colleagues?

Szőke Angéla4 min read
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"I Spend My Lunch Break in the Morgue" Doctors, What’s Your Best Advice for Colleagues? — Health
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Working in healthcare is challenging on many levels, so it’s worth paying attention when experienced colleagues share their advice.

The Most Important Crew

I work in several hospitals, and in each one, I’m on good terms with the security guards. Honestly, they’re often underrated among hospital staff. It’s smart to be friendly with them because they can help in so many ways. There were times I was so exhausted I had to nap, and I’d ask them to wake me if a patient arrived. They never snitched. Also, befriend the janitors and cleaners—they’re invaluable team members! They’ll get you whatever you need, help solve problems, and, bonus, they’re the best source for juicy gossip.

Tailored Fit

I’m 153 cm (5’0”) tall, so I use a stapler to hem the sleeves and pant legs of disposable medical scrubs to fit me perfectly.

Source: unsplash.com

The Safe Spot

Pillows, thermometers, IV stands—if there’s a shortage and I want to hide something, I always take it into a patient’s room and ask them to watch over it. The best choice is the grumpiest patient; even the most seasoned colleagues won’t look for their stuff there.

The Tissue Box

Never use a tissue hanging out of the box—always toss it and grab the next one. I once saw a colleague pick their nose, wipe it on the protruding tissue, and leave it in the box. Plus, the top tissue is always dirtier and dustier, so it’s better to throw it away.

The Morgue

As a medical student, I never had a peaceful lunch break until I realized the best place to eat was the morgue. It’s always quiet and calm there, and you quickly get used to the smell. When I occasionally run into the hospital pathologist, he jokingly says, “I see you’re risking death again just for some peace!”

Locations

Always know where the fire extinguishers are and which hidden parts of the hospital have restrooms. My favorite is a bathroom on the sixth floor almost no one knows about. Officially, it’s an accessible restroom, but two flights of stairs lead to it, so it’s never used. I love having my private moments there, undisturbed. Here’s another tip: if the hospital has a chapel, it’s a great spot for a quick nap.

Source: unsplash.com

Christmas

As a junior doctor, money is tight, but every Christmas I give small gifts to everyone working in the kitchen. They know I’m always rushing, so I never have to wait in line. If I forget my wallet, they let me pay later and even save my favorite meals so they don’t run out before I get there. These little kindnesses are lifesavers on crazy days—which is almost always. The cafeteria staff get the same love—they’ve saved me more than once with a comforting coffee.

Little Things Add Up

I take micro-breaks every hour. That means every 60 minutes, I sit down—usually on the toilet—and close my eyes. It rests my legs, body, and mind. It might not seem like much, but over a 12-hour shift, that adds up to a full hour of rest. My husband is a surgeon, and he sits on the toilet every time he pees because it gives his legs a break.

Cooling Down

On the maternity ward, I learned to freeze water-filled condoms to help new moms soothe sore, swollen areas after giving birth.

Scent

On a hot day, hand sanitizer helps if you’re sweaty and out of deodorant. I also spray perfume on both shoulders before every shift. That way, if there’s a “code brown” (you know, a messy accident) or a smelly infection, I just sniff my shoulder so the odor doesn’t linger in my nose. And if the room smells really bad, I put a bit of hand sanitizer under my nose and pull my mask over it—it works wonders.

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