Like Us
I was 29 when I was chatting with an intern who asked how old a colleague was. I said I didn’t know, "maybe about our age." She freaked out and asked, "Oh my, how old do I think he is?!" Then I was shocked too: "And how old do you think I am?!" Turns out she was 18, and to a teenager, I, almost 30, was practically ancient. That’s when it hit me—I wasn’t that young anymore, because when I was 18, I thought 30-somethings were old too.
The Club
After what felt like a century, my friends convinced me to leave the house party and hit a club. When we got there, I felt like I was in a kindergarten. I was 36 then, and honestly, I could have been everyone’s mom. That realization hit hard enough to sober me up.
The Radio Plays
One time, I was listening to the radio in the car when one of my favorite songs was called a "retro hit." It felt like it was just a few years ago it was topping the charts. After that, I confidently requested "retro" songs at my friend’s wedding DJ set—like Eiffel 65’s "I’m Blue"—and didn’t even blink when my niece called Avril Lavigne and Sum 41 "grandpa rock."
Safety First
"Wear a helmet!" I said, shocked, to my little brother as he hopped on his bike to quickly grab some milk. That’s when I realized—no matter how much I fought it—I had become just like my mom.
History
I almost choked when my sister’s son told me they learned about the regime change in history class.
Order Is Key
On my way home, I saw two young people spray-painting graffiti on a building wall. I stopped and explained that what they were doing wasn’t cool but vandalism, and they should think about how much it would cost the building’s community to clean up that mess. They told me to "get lost, old fart." That’s when I knew I was getting old. (They actually used more colorful language.)
Sitting Down
My best friend and I—who spent the last two decades rocking out at metal concerts—agreed to get seats this time because her feet and my back couldn’t handle standing for two hours. We even splurged on VIP tickets for cleaner restrooms and shorter bar lines. Yep, we’ve definitely gotten a bit comfy.
Warning Signal
My daughter said I can’t do a cartwheel, and I immediately jumped up to show her how well I could do it. Then the warning bells went off in my head—remember last time you just yawned and pulled your neck? So, I did a very careful little cartwheel, after warming up a bit.
Sports
I heard one of my favorite athletes mentioned on TV and thought how impressive it was that they were still active—only to find out it was their child competing.
In Mistakes
The first time I was treated by a doctor who was clearly and noticeably younger than me, and when I asked my seventh-grade daughter if she wanted to hang out after school, she looked at me wide-eyed and said, "Are you trying to embarrass me in front of my friends?!" That’s when I realized I wasn’t a cool mom, just the usual awkward mom.
