I remember a conversation with my grandfather during my college years. Back then, everything was happening all at once. I worked by day, studied by night, and the looming deadline for my thesis both stressed me out and gave me hope—hope that once it was over, things might get a bit easier.
I was telling my grandfather how much I was looking forward to finishing college. How it was tough juggling work and school at the same time, but once I got through it, everything would be simpler. I’d move forward in my career, no longer have to do two things at once, and finally have a calmer life.
He listened with a smile. Then he said:
“We always think that once we get past this or that, we’ll have arrived. Then something else comes up, and we think we just need to get through that. Just this one thing, then that one—until one day, we realize our life has passed us by.”
That was an important lesson, one that I think will stay with me forever. But I admit, it took many years to truly understand its meaning.
In your twenties, it feels natural to think life is moving somewhere. That there are phases, and when one ends, you finally reach a calmer, more stable place. Like there’s a moment when everything clicks.
You submit your thesis. You get your first real job. You save some money. You find a place to live. Things settle down. And somewhere at the end of the line is this imagined state: when everything is "done".
It took me years to realize this state doesn’t exist
You submit your thesis—and then work stress hits. Your job stabilizes—and new responsibilities appear. Something gets solved—and another problem pops up.
And every life phase that seemed so wise and grown-up 10 years ago is still full of questions when you live it. You just hope that maybe 10 years from now, you’ll be wiser and finally have some answers.
But the truth is, there will always be something. Something to get through. Something to solve. Something that makes you say, once I get past this, then finally…
If you’re not careful, it’s easy to get stuck in this mindset. I was stuck there for a while. For years, I lived as if my life would truly begin somewhere in the future. Like the present was just a waiting room to endure.
But the years keep passing. And at some point, you realize that that “someday” never actually arrives.
I don’t think my grandfather meant to say we shouldn’t pursue our goals or want to move forward. Rather, he meant we shouldn’t wait to enjoy life until everything is perfect. Because that moment never comes.
Something will always happen. There will always be a new task, a new problem, a new goal. And it’s up to us what we do with our days in the meantime.
Do we live through them, or just survive? Do we let life pass us by while waiting for it to be "done"—or do we learn to enjoy the part happening right now?
