But most of these relationships fade away after a while. Life with a capital L comes along and everything changes, we all change – and with that, sometimes our friendships also fade and break. However, there are bonds that not only survive every change but also grow stronger over the years.
As adults, we perhaps make fewer friendships, but these – in my experience – can be much deeper. People consciously chosen, not from a specific community (e.g., a class), who are with us not only in laughter but also in silences – these are our true companions. Those whom chance did not just bring together, but shared values, similar challenges, the same pace and value system did. These friendships work somehow differently!
How can you recognize such a friendship? The following 5 things can help identify it!
Believes in you even when you don’t
Sometimes just one encouraging sentence from them makes you see yourself and your situation differently. They can do this only because they see something in you that you don’t notice. They are with you when you’re nervous, when you start something new, when you’re down, or when you can’t believe it might succeed. They don’t just cheer from the background – they actively support you, and you know without question they will be there if something goes wrong.
Likes not only you but everything your life means
If someone is truly close to you, they don’t just accept you – but also the package you come with. They don’t question why your relationship with your mom is the way it is, they don’t raise their eyebrows at your sibling’s strange remarks, and they don’t get uncomfortable when your daughter is mentioned – even if they imagined a child-free life for themselves. They don’t distance themselves if others are part of your world, in fact, sometimes they provide a perspective for you or them that noticeably relieves you. They can do this because they don’t “tolerate” you in the name of friendship, but understand and accept you!
Doesn’t keep score of who did more
Adult friendship often consists of organizing, reorganizing, and canceled coffee dates. It’s not always possible to precisely track who puts in what – but a true friend doesn’t try to measure. They don’t help because they expect something in return, but because they want to be there and support you. And you don’t extend your hand because you expect to ask for something in the future. You both know there are days when you can do more and days when they can. And that’s how it should be!
Doesn’t dwell on the past but is present in your life
There will be times when you make mistakes. Or something goes very wrong with them. Maybe there will be months when you talk less and drift apart a bit. But if you are truly important to them, they don’t expect long explanations, humiliating apologies, and don’t keep old grievances in their pocket. They can move on, forgive, understand your situation. And most importantly: they don’t look at what happened long ago, but at how you can move forward – together.
Knows how to listen and support – really
One sentence, a small gesture, an unexpected message from them is enough, arriving just at the right time, and you immediately feel: you can count on them! You know it’s not necessary to talk every day because you can pick up where you left off. There’s no offense if you don’t reply immediately, and you don’t expect an instant reaction, as you respect their personal space. You know that when they say, “I can’t talk now, but I love you and will call when I’m done!” – they mean it seriously.
If you have such a friend, hug them, love them from the heart! And if you don’t yet, keep your eyes open! These connections don’t just grow around the corner, but once they arrive, they can stay with you forever.
