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"Mom Keeps Weed in the Kitchen Cabinet" – Parents, What Ridiculous Reason Did the School Call You In For?

Szőke Angéla3 min read
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"Mom Keeps Weed in the Kitchen Cabinet" – Parents, What Ridiculous Reason Did the School Call You In For? — Family
In this article

Bridge

Bridge
My son got sent to detention, and he threatened the teacher that his dad would "take her to the slaughterhouse." Unfortunately, the teacher knew my husband actually works at the slaughterhouse.

Wedding

Wedding
I was called in because my daughter threw a wedding during recess and "wanted to marry a trash can." I told the teacher I probably would have been better off marrying a trash can myself, and I hope she wasn’t upset because she didn’t get an invite.

Weed

Weed
My son told the school that mom keeps weed in the kitchen cabinet. I had to bring in the bag of fake grass I bought for Easter decorations to clear things up—it wasn’t drugs.

The Stranger

The Stranger
"Your child was talking to a strange man by the fence at aftercare," the note in my daughter’s report said. The stranger was actually her dad—they just didn’t bother asking her.

Intimidating

Intimidating
The principal called to say my son’s appearance was "intimidating." When I asked why, the answer was his black trench coat and boots. I showed up to the principal’s office wearing the same—and asked if any dress code banned it. There wasn’t. Case closed.

Spot On

Spot On
My high school daughter’s math teacher told her she dresses like she might as well be standing on the corner hustling. My daughter fired back that compared to her, even an alcoholic janitor was a fashion icon. The teacher told me this with half the staff watching, and since my daughter’s description was spot on, I couldn’t help but laugh. After that, I stopped pretending to be the outraged parent and just pulled her out of school. She graduated elsewhere.

Adult Content

Adult Content
My fourth-grade son was showing "sex pictures" to classmates. When I asked where he got them, he said he cut them out from magazines found in a teacher’s desk drawer. I told the school I wouldn’t reveal which teacher was responsible if my son didn’t get a warning. They agreed, but the young gym teacher’s bright red face made it obvious to everyone who it was.

Phrase

Phrase
One of my daughter’s preschool teachers called, barely able to hold back laughter. The kids’ free play was interrupted by a fire drill, and my daughter’s reaction was, "Bea, are you kidding me?!" The teacher asked us to watch our language around the kids because my daughter used the swear word perfectly appropriately. I promised with a chuckle we’d be more careful.

Hands

Hands
Because "my son’s hand was in a girl’s underwear and her hand was in his shorts." Honestly, I didn’t know what to say to the homeroom teacher except, "Okay, I’ll talk to him."

Cult

Cult
I was called in because two boys got into a fight. When I asked what my fifth-grade daughter had to do with it, they said it was because she founded a "Unicorn cult." Unicorns were worshipped as gods, goats represented the devil, and the boys fought because one thought the goats weren’t evil.
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