Many couples struggle when the husband’s sexual appetite is bigger than the wife’s desire.
The Solution
We have two kids, I work and manage the household—who has the energy or mood to perform like a sex goddess at the end of the day? By 10 p.m., I’m just happy to be alive, and I definitely don’t want my husband to try anything then. I love him and he’s a great dad. I didn’t want our marriage to fall apart over this, so we found a solution. To my knowledge—and with my permission—he goes for massages twice a week, which end with a happy finish. Many look at us sideways because of this, but I see the money spent as an investment. I don’t consider hand sex cheating, and it takes a burden off my shoulders that I don’t want to deal with. My husband doesn’t pressure me, he’s satisfied, so everyone wins.
The Secret
After ten years of a relatively happy marriage, my husband suddenly became insatiable almost overnight. It turned out he was taking Viagra because he couldn’t control himself. I couldn’t keep up with him, so we divorced. Since then, I’ve been on my own, and he’s been hunting women on Tinder and says he’s never been happier…
Midlife Changes
We were both divorced when we met—I was 47, he was 50. The sex was amazing; I felt like a withered flower being watered and blooming again. Two years later, we got married, and I was the happiest woman alive. But the bliss didn’t last. Menopause came crashing in with full force: fatigue, relentless hot flashes, weight gain, hair loss, and the inevitable drop in libido. My new husband was understanding for two months, then lost patience with my suffering and started demanding sex every day. I tried to explain that I couldn’t sleep, was barely functioning by day’s end, and was constantly struggling, but he wasn’t patient. We tried “alternative” methods at first, but I ended up moving out because I had enough troubles without his tantrums. So much for "in sickness and in health"—I thought—and we divorced. A year later, my life got back on track thanks to hormones, and now I have a new partner.
The Last Straw
My boyfriend was so demanding that he would wake me up in the middle of the night to have sex. After a few months, I started getting tired of it and asked him to stop. It was exam season, and I needed sleep. I also began to feel like a sexual toy. He didn’t care, so the next time he woke me up, I slapped him. That ended the relationship, but by then, I didn’t mind.
The Ultimatum
My husband and I have been together for three years and got married last year. At first, I enjoyed the intensity of our sex life, but the initial excitement has faded, and I want us to be intimate less often. When my husband noticed this, he completely freaked out. He said he married me because “he finally found a woman who doesn’t see sex as a chore,” and now I’m “calling it quits.” My guy friends say his reaction is justified, but I don’t feel like I betrayed him—after all, which long-term relationship realistically has constant sex? Two weeks ago, my husband told me he’d leave if I don’t have sex with him at least six times a week. I don’t know what to do. I love him, but this conflict has made me want sex with him even less than before…
