Most parents will admit they're a little tough on their kid's new partner. But some first meetings go so spectacularly wrong that they're impossible to forget. These parents shared their stories — and they range from cringeworthy to absolutely unbelievable.
The drunk driver
He seemed perfectly likeable at first — right up until he casually mentioned that a few years ago he'd driven home so drunk that he hit something and rode the last mile on a bare rim because he'd shredded the tire. He laughed about it. I told my daughter she was never, under any circumstances, to get in a car with that man.
The backhanded compliment
The girl opened with: "I can see Patrick got his hair from his mum! I've never really been into redheads myself because of the freckles, but he's actually quite cute..." Thanks for that... whatever it was.
The slap
The first introduction was quick and awkward. Then the guy opened the car door for my daughter — a gentlemanly gesture that lasted exactly one second, because as she climbed in, he slapped her on the backside. My hand moved on its own and he got an equally firm smack in return. I told my daughter to get out of the car, and we never saw that idiot again. The nerve of him.
Table manners
My daughter once brought home a boy who didn't know how to use a knife and fork.
Sore loser
The girl sat down with us to play a board game. The moment she started losing, she flipped the entire board — cards and pieces flying everywhere — and stormed off sulking. We all stared at each other in stunned silence, then burst out laughing. My son didn't go after her. He never called her again either.
No inhibitions whatsoever
My son brought his first girlfriend home. She was lovely, and I felt that unmistakable surge of parental pride. They sat in the living room while I popped to the kitchen for three minutes to make lemonade. When I came back, I nearly dropped the glasses — they were having sex on the sofa, the girl completely undressed. I told them to stop because my wife would be home from work any minute and she would not be pleased.
Let it go... and go... and go
My son's first girlfriend sang the Frozen song on repeat for the entire afternoon. I could see it was starting to wear on him. Worth mentioning: they were both five years old.
The history lesson
The guy said, completely seriously, that his brother had served in the Second World War. When I asked how old his brother was, he said 33. My husband asked if he knew when the Second World War actually took place. He didn't. He just said: "Recently, wasn't it?"
Proudly unemployed
The girl — 23, no qualifications — proudly announced that neither she nor her family had ever worked a day in their lives, because they were "clever about it" and got by on various benefits and handouts. I told my son I had no idea where he'd found her, but she was not welcome back.
The surprise arrival
My 16-year-old had been chatting online with a 17-year-old boy from another city. One evening, he showed up at our door completely unannounced. Turns out he'd spent every penny of his savings on train and taxi fares, and his plan was to move in with us until my daughter finished her school exams and they could get a place together. We fed him dinner and that same evening I drove him to the station, bought him a ticket, and personally put him on the train to make sure he actually went home.
The living arrangement
The guy introduced himself, then casually mentioned that his ex-girlfriend was still living with him — but not to worry, it's not like that anymore, even though she does occasionally crawl into his bed when she comes home drunk. My smile wavered slightly.
Lost in translation
The girl had such a strong regional accent that I genuinely couldn't understand a word she said. I asked my son to translate. His response: "I can't understand her either, but she's cute, right?"
Not quite what I expected
I consider myself pretty open-minded, but I could have cried when I saw my daughter's new boyfriend. Blonde dreadlocks, sagging trousers, face full of piercings. When I asked what he did for a living, he said he was a rapper.
The announcement
My son introduced his girlfriend — and then casually mentioned that she was, by the way, pregnant. I thought I was going to faint.
The pentagram
My son warned me not to be shocked because his new girlfriend was a goth. I mentally prepared myself for black hair, black nails, and heavy dark makeup. What I was not prepared for was the pentagram — a literal satanic star — tattooed on her face. I'm not particularly religious, but that was a lot to take in before dinner.
