Op-ed — Borka Schuster
From the time we're little, we hear the same thing over and over: Never give up on your dreams. Fight for your goals. If you want it badly enough, it will happen.
There's something genuinely inspiring in that. Plenty of people have achieved extraordinary things precisely because they refused to quit when others would have walked away. Persistence really can work wonders.
But we rarely talk about the other side: some dreams aren't just okay to release — sometimes letting them go is the healthiest thing you can do.
I've had one of those dreams. And letting it go didn't feel like defeat. It felt like freedom.
For a long time I believed our dreams were like contracts. Once you name them out loud, you're bound to them for life. And to release one meant you had failed.
Now I see it completely differently
People change. Life changes. Our priorities shift with every passing year. So why should our dreams be the one thing that stays frozen forever?
There was a time when I had a very vivid picture of the home where I'd finally be happy. A house with a garden. Lots of light, a big living room, a terrace for morning coffee. A little patch of grass where we could grill in summer and my child could run around.
For years that wasn't just a wish. It was a measuring stick.
Every time I walked into my current apartment, part of me quietly thought, this still isn't it. That I'd only feel truly content once I finally got "there."
Meanwhile, the years kept passing.
And one day it hit me how much time I was spending, in my head, living in a place I hadn't reached yet — while barely noticing the one I was actually in. Even though I love this apartment. It's close to the city center, full of light, filled with the books, plants and little objects we chose ourselves. So many of my memories were born in this home. We laughed here, we cried here, and the life I now think of as truly mine took shape right here.
And yet I was willing to push all of that into the background for a dream that kept whispering: you're not where you should be yet.
That's when I started asking myself whether I still wanted this dream at all. Or whether I'd simply gotten used to the idea that I was supposed to want it.
There's a big difference between the two
Some goals are the kind we're glad to work toward. They give us energy, they light us up, they move us forward. And then there are the ones that, over time, turn into little more than a constant sense of lack.
I realized I didn't want to spend my whole life waiting for the next stop.
Because what happens once I finally get the house with the garden? Odds are, I'll find a new dream. A bigger garden. A nicer neighborhood. Even more freedom. The human brain is surprisingly good at always spotting something that's still missing.
So I started to be more deliberate about which dreams I hold on to. I didn't give up on growing, or on having goals. I just stopped turning every single wish into a mandatory task.
These days I ask myself different questions instead:
Am I truly willing to work for this? Does the path toward it bring me joy? Or does it just leave me feeling guilty that I'm not there yet?
If it's the latter, maybe it's time to let go. Not because the dream is impossible — but because I'm paying too high a price for it in the present.
If I'm always feeling that my real life will start sometime later, it's easy to miss the one that's happening right now.
When a dream only keeps repeating that I'm not enough, that I haven't arrived, that something is always missing, maybe the answer isn't to cling to it — but to release it. And to make room for that quiet, everyday contentment that may have been in front of us the whole time — we just never noticed it.
Frequently asked questions
Isn't letting go of a dream the same as giving up?
Not necessarily. Giving up often feels like defeat, while releasing a dream that no longer serves you can feel like freedom. The point isn't to stop growing — it's to stop turning every wish into an obligation.
How do I know if a dream is worth keeping?
Ask yourself whether the path toward it brings you joy, or mostly guilt that you're not there yet. If it's the latter, it may be time to let it go rather than cling to it.
Why do we keep chasing new dreams even after reaching old ones?
Because the mind is remarkably good at always finding something that's still missing. There's often a bigger, better version of the goal waiting — which is exactly why constant striving can leave us perpetually unsatisfied.
What do I gain by letting a dream go?
Room for the quiet, everyday contentment that was likely there all along. When you stop waiting for life to start "later," you can actually notice and enjoy the life you're already living.
