Stop These Now If You Don’t Want to Cause More Emotional Wounds to Your Child

Pommells emphasized that yelling at children and using emotional manipulation during discipline should be avoided. Manipulation and loud, aggressive tones can harm a child’s nervous system and may cause long-lasting trauma in the next generation.

Don’t Play Favorites and Accept Apologies

Favoritism, especially among siblings, and refusing to accept their apologies can deeply affect children’s emotional well-being and self-esteem. Recognizing and stopping these habits is a key step to breaking the cycle of childhood trauma.

Don’t Take Out Your Frustrations on Them

Pommells highlighted that parents must prioritize their children’s safety in every situation. Taking out your anger unfairly on your child doesn’t prepare them for anything positive.

Don’t Expect Gratitude or Redemption from Them

It’s a big mistake to see children as extensions of ourselves, expecting them to fulfill our dreams or unachieved goals. Pommells also pointed out that expecting gratitude for everyday things—like providing food, shelter, and care—is unfair. That’s our role as parents, and we chose it voluntarily, so we shouldn’t expect thanks.

According to Pommells, using these tactics in parenting breeds resentment and can seriously impact a child’s self-esteem. On the other hand, creating a loving and safe environment helps children develop positive self-worth and a strong sense of identity. This solid foundation supports their success in relationships, coping with challenges, and building a healthy self-image.

You Can’t Be Responsible for Your Parents’ Behavior

Data from the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration shows childhood trauma is very common. Over two-thirds of children report experiencing at least one traumatic event by age 16. The therapist also explained that children don’t have to take responsibility for their parents’ feelings—though it often takes many years, sometimes with help, to realize this.

No one is born a perfect parent, and that’s okay. But providing a safe environment helps reduce the risk of childhood trauma. There’s no exact manual for parenting, but with dedication and effort, anyone can lessen trauma’s impact on their children, supporting strong self-esteem and identity.