Side B
When my best friend raised her glass with a grin on my 40th birthday and said, "Here’s to Side B spinning now." My laughter caught in my throat because I realized I probably have fewer years ahead than I’ve already lived. (And that scared me.)
3 Months
When my dad started coughing and getting tired easily at 50. After much urging, we took him to the doctor and found out he had lung cancer—and he passed away three months later. It was so sudden since he’d been healthy and full of plans.
He was restoring an old car with his own hands, building a house so the grandkids would have a home, playing senior chess tournaments, and even planning to write a book about winemaking. We sold the car and unfinished house, and he never met his grandchild. So much was left unfinished, and I understood that we can’t live only for our plans.
Anniversary
A few years ago, my husband suggested we watch Jurassic Park at home to celebrate its 30th anniversary. I blinked in surprise—it felt like it had just come out recently.
Age
When I went for a screening and the doctor told me to come more often because middle-aged women like me need annual check-ups. At first, I didn’t get it—middle-aged? Me?! (But sadly, it’s true.)
Vacation
My sister was always a fragile child, and we knew she wouldn’t live long, but you tend to forget that when you grow up with someone. I was 15, she was 17, when I dreamed aloud about summer vacations one winter evening. She said she wouldn’t live to see them but told me to enjoy life fully. I laughed then, but she really passed away that spring.
We didn’t go on vacation that year, but the next year we did—and she was on my mind the whole time. It made me appreciate life so much more.
Missing Classmates
When I went to my 10-year high school reunion and found out three classmates had already passed away. (One from a stroke, one from cancer, and one in a car accident.)
Right of Way
I was heading home from a party, happy because a cute girl gave me her number. I thought I’d call her next week to seem cool. Then, a blue flash caught my eye (a blue Audi didn’t yield right of way), and everything went dark.
When I came to, I saw broken glass and heard paramedics figuring out how to get me out of the wreck. I was incredibly lucky with no lasting injuries, but I called that cute girl from the hospital the next day because I learned nothing’s guaranteed, not even tomorrow.
Out of the Blue
When at 26, I found out I had cancer. It was discovered during a routine checkup, with no symptoms yet. Chemotherapy and radiation followed, and I beat the disease, but the sword of Damocles always hangs over me, reminding me it could return anytime.
The Blur
When I turned 42 and realized I have no idea where the last 20 years went. I clearly remember my childhood, school, high school, and college years, but everything after that is a blur with just a few sharp memories.
25
When my niece told me at 25 that I was a quarter-century old. I wanted to correct her immediately, but she was right.
