Here are the funniest (and totally unrealistic) "male logic" stereotypes.
Memory
Guy math: my husband can instantly recite years of stats about his favorite soccer team and every player, but he hasn’t been able to remember the name of our kid’s homeroom teacher for three years.
Ridiculous
Male logic says he’s terrified of “gold digger” women, even though he owns nothing but three pairs of socks.
Ambition
He has the nerve to ask about my post-graduation plans on a date when his apartment has a TV sitting on a box, a mattress on the floor, and that’s it.
Of Course
He pays so little child support it doesn’t cover the kid’s food, then spreads rumors that I’m vacationing in Greece on his money.
Confused Concepts
He wants a woman who values “conservative principles” but expects me to pay for my drink on a date.
Info
He knows why his favorite rapper was bullied at school as a kid, but can’t remember which of our kids is allergic to peanuts.
Incomprehensible
When it’s time to tighten the belt, he complains about me buying a new mascara, then shows up the next day with the world’s biggest flat-screen TV.
Skincare
He keeps five types of oil, two kinds of body spray, three waxes, and four polishing liquids for his car, but uses the same cheap bottle of body wash on his hair, face, and body. And he says he doesn’t clean the bathroom because “he doesn’t know how,” yet spends half a day cleaning his car with 15 different products.
Are You Kidding?
Guy math: he says he’s not ready for a serious relationship but expects me to cook, clean, do laundry and be intimate with him.
Goodbye
He doesn’t want kids but never has condoms, refuses to consider vasectomy, and condemns abortion.
Hormones
Male logic: criticize women for their hormonal mood swings, then punch a hole in the wall because his soccer team lost.
Fan Love
Tease me for being a Taylor Swift fan while he rocks a Cristiano Ronaldo jersey every Sunday, then sighs about having to rewatch a cartoon with the kid even though he’s seen Lord of the Rings two hundred times.
Gadgets
They understand every gadget except how to turn on the washing machine.
LOL
When my fiancé insists on a prenuptial agreement even though he’s been unemployed for a year and a half.
Participation
When my guy says he pulls his weight around the house but only changes the oil once a year and shovels snow twice all winter.
Value
A $5700 clunker with a $29000 sound system.
Essentials
For a weekend fishing trip, they pack fewer than two changes of underwear but bring 70 bottles of beer each…
Misconception
When he watches a pro athlete on TV and claims he could do better…
Locator
He knows exactly where all 800 of his tools are in the garage down to the centimeter, but can’t find the mustard in the fridge unless it’s glaring at him.
Double Standard
His Tinder profile says he’s all about natural beauty and dislikes heavy makeup on women, yet every photo shows him wearing a hat to hide his balding. Or he grows a beard to cover an awkward jawline but criticizes women who contour their faces. Or he insists a girl is definitely at least three kilos heavier than she says, while he easily claims to be 180 cm tall when he’s really only 177 cm even with soda.
