Why do some women get treated like princesses, while others don’t? Is it the man’s attitude or the woman’s influence that brings on the pampering?
The Tantrum
I’m always attentive to my partner’s wishes, and when I ask how the three-course dinner was, I usually get a simple "it was good". My sister doesn’t do any housework: she has a housekeeper who also cooks, and of course, her boyfriend pays for it. I don’t get anything for my name day—even though I drop hints two weeks ahead—while my sister throws a fit because her boyfriend didn’t order the bouquet in the exact shade of tulips she wanted or take her to the restaurant she was craving. It drives me crazy; this just isn’t fair. I no longer blame myself—in fact, the problem isn’t that I don’t do enough for my partner, but that I chose the wrong one.
A Bad Example
With help from my therapist, I realized I pick men who don’t treat me well because my dad treated my mom that way. As a child, I absorbed that pattern and unknowingly repeat it in my own relationships. To me, it felt normal that the woman gives her all emotionally, while the man barely gives the minimum. The key was learning to love myself. That’s it. Once I achieved that—with professional support—I believed I deserved a man who "spoils me." And I found him. Now, I spoil him too.
The Rhetorical Question
I have three brothers. One broke up with a girlfriend I really liked and started dating a rather empty-headed blonde. I can’t say anything bad about her, but she’s not in the same league as his ex. My sister and I watched in surprise as my brother literally showered his new girlfriend with attention and treated her like a queen in ways he never did with his ex. We were wondering why this girl had him wrapped around her finger when another brother shouted from across the room: "sex." We looked at him puzzled, and then the other brother said, "Sex. The sex with this girl is better and more frequent."
Haha
Princess-level pampering?! I laugh at that because I’m just happy if he finally takes out the trash after the tenth reminder…
Not to Interfere, But...
As a man, I quietly note that in these cases—even if the so-called "princess" seems high-maintenance from the outside—the woman actually does a lot for her guy behind the scenes. Because few men pamper their partner for no reason. He might receive care differently, but he definitely gets it. No matter how an outsider judges it, that man is satisfied with his relationship; otherwise, he wouldn’t behave that way.
Spelled Out
My girlfriend told me the problem in my relationship is that I don’t openly communicate what I want to my boyfriend, so he doesn’t spoil me. Well, the following week was Valentine’s Day and four days later my birthday. One evening, I told my boyfriend I’d love a big bouquet of roses and my favorite chocolates for Valentine’s Day, and for my birthday, I wanted to go hiking (he hates hiking) and then eat at a cute little restaurant on the way home. He just raised an eyebrow and said nothing, while I eagerly awaited February 14th. My gift was a new vacuum cleaner with these kind words:
"This is both your Valentine’s and birthday surprise because it was expensive!"
So much for communication…
Half a Win
My friends always wonder why I seem to have such "gallant" boyfriends. The answer is simple: from the start, I set clear boundaries and don’t settle for less. At the beginning, every man is chivalrous because he wants to win you over. That initial devotion is the standard I stick to even after we’re together. I simply don’t accept less. Being late isn’t an option. We still go out to dinner at least once a week. Weekends aren’t for lounging at home but for planned activities we take turns organizing. It quickly becomes clear if a guy can’t keep up this level—and then he’s out. If he protests, he gets one more chance, but no more. If he doesn’t improve, it’s on to the next. So, I believe this depends less on men and more on a woman’s self-confidence. I know what I deserve, and if someone offers less, it’s time to let go.
