"When’s the Baby Coming?" Innocent Questions That Drive Us Crazy

When someone tells a story and gets stuck on a tiny detail — like my mom always does. "I met Aunt Juci on Tuesday. Or was it Monday? No, it couldn’t be Monday because I had a doctor’s appointment that day. Or maybe it was Wednesday...?" I just want to scream, "Does it really matter which day it was?! Just get to the point, please!" Of course, I never do, but it drives me nuts.

I live in the US, and people ask this everywhere—not just to me, but to each other. My sister-in-law drops by, I head to the kitchen, and she follows up asking if everything’s alright. I say goodbye to colleagues, and they ask if I’m okay. No matter what you’re doing—or not doing—you get asked if you’re doing well.

When someone yawns without covering their mouth. It’s gross. I don’t want to see anyone’s throat, tongue, or dental fillings. Only my dog gets a free pass for yawning right in my face.

When someone talks on the phone in public with the speaker on, holding the phone away from their ear. Why not just hold it to your ear? Why must everyone hear your conversation?!

When I’m browsing clothes in a store and someone stands right next to me, touching the same items. Why not wait a minute until I move? I usually leave immediately, even if I found something I like.

When someone licks their finger while counting cash. It makes me want to gag. I work in car sales where cash is common, and I see this way too often. First, money is dirty and full of germs. Second, do I have to touch the bill you just slobbered on? So gross.

When someone walks around the house brushing their teeth. One ex and two roommates did this. What’s so urgent that you can’t stand still for two minutes in front of the sink?

When someone remembers something obvious at the last second. Like standing in a long checkout line, then acting surprised they have to pay and only then digging for their wallet. Seriously, what did you think, it would be free?! Or when someone boards the bus, gets surprised when it starts moving, grabs a handle, and only then looks for support. That’s my sister, who’s lived in the city all her life, taking trams and trolleys everywhere—and still does this every time.

When my family and friends come to me with every computer problem just because I’m an IT professional. I don’t know everything about computers. But most times, I solve the issue by asking if they’ve tried restarting the device. I’ve "fixed" my aunt’s computer three times this way, yet she still calls me before trying it herself.

I know we just got married, but why does everyone keep asking when the baby’s coming? I get it’s not meant to be rude, but it’s exhausting. What if I can’t have kids or simply don’t want any? The baby will come when it’s ready—or not at all. Please, stop the constant nagging.

Photos: istockphoto.com