So, Who Are YOU Really?
Few people can give a straightforward answer to this question. Throughout life, every connection—family, friends, work—shapes us. And it works both ways: you shape your world, too. That’s why most people answer this question by saying things like "I’m someone’s someone," "I work here in this role," or "I’m the mom, wife, or partner of so-and-so."
If you’ve never done self-exploration work, it’s not easy to answer this question in a way that’s all about you.
People seek psychologists or other helpers because those spaces are all about them—they get to be the center. What if you gave yourself that same gift? Not selfishly, but by understanding that your life moves best when you put yourself first. It might sound strange, especially if you’re a mom, but there’s a reason the saying goes, "If mom’s happy, everyone’s happy." It’s a bit blunt, but I completely agree.
Of course, this isn’t just for moms. No matter what role you’re playing right now, the most important thing is that YOU exist! That means every day, you need to find your way back to the most important person in your life: yourself.
How to Get to Know Yourself Better
It’s never too late to get closer to yourself. And don’t think it has to be some huge time-consuming thing. In my experience, if something feels hard or stressful, it’s not the right path. That’s the beauty of self-discovery—there’s a method for everyone. Some find it through sports, others cooking, therapy, reading, drawing, hiking, and more.
Every activity that connects you with yourself brings you closer to your true self and helps answer the question, "Who am I?"
But you have to do what truly brings you joy! You’re the one who needs to discover what that is. For me, writing helps me connect with myself. Sometimes a topic stirs up a lot inside, almost like a therapy session. I know it’s tough to carve out even half an hour or an hour just for yourself. If not every day, try a few times a week to focus solely on you. This won’t make you a worse mom, partner, or friend—if anything, it will make you better.
Maybe a part of you has been knocking at your door for a long time, and you’ve been pushing it down. Or maybe everyone around you has tried to silence that voice. But no one knows what you need better than you do—not even if they love you and say they’re doing everything for your own good.
Of course, it’s good to have an outside, clear voice sometimes, and self-awareness doesn’t mean running headfirst into walls. But the most important voice should be your own inner guide. Learn to listen, quiet your ego, and trust that only you know the right path for you. Be ready that it won’t always be sunshine and rainbows, but it’s your choice—and trust that you’ve been led there for a reason.
