What was the misleading advice that promised you'd keep your husband, but didn’t work out? Stories from women who believed they gave their all for their partner, yet divorce was the outcome.
Physical Intimacy
All my life, I heard people say couples split because their sex life wasn’t good anymore—or sometimes, there was none at all. I always paid attention with my ex: I made sure we had sex at least twice a week, regularly bought new sexy lingerie, and tried to be attentive in bed. We didn’t argue, and I thought we were living well. But after eight years, he told me he was “bored with our marriage” and wanted to meet new people. So much for keeping a guy with sex…
Appearance
We’d been together six years when we had a child, so it wasn’t rushed. My mom and aunt kept warning me not to gain weight after giving birth, or my husband would leave me! I carefully kept my figure slim. I didn’t have time to work out with the baby, so I cut back on food and sometimes took stroller runs in the park. I quickly got back to my ideal weight, but it didn’t matter: by the time our child was two, my husband already had a lover.
“They gain a few pounds, barely wear makeup, and are always in sweatpants around their husbands.”
Those were the most common “offenses.” I promised myself I wouldn’t be a sloppy partner and always made sure to look nice at home, even putting on a little makeup on weekend mornings. I kept my weight in check. After four years of marriage, my husband sat me down and said, sorry, but he’d fallen in love—with a woman who’s actually curvy! My mom said, you can be the juiciest peach in the basket, but if he doesn’t like peaches, it won’t matter.
Care
I was told to “take care of my husband”, and I did just that. I ran the household like a dream—could eat off the floor. I woke up early to make scrambled eggs, packed his lunch, and cooked something different every night. I took care of the kids, dog, cat, handled all the house, car, doctor appointments, and errands. His only job was to go to work and “exist.” In the end, I was the housekeeper, nanny, and secretary he lived with like a roommate. Unfortunately, I stopped being his lover in his eyes…
Expectations
I knew men don’t like nagging wives, so I let him spend hours every day on the Playstation. I let him go out drinking with coworkers after work and fishing with friends on weekends. The big freedom ended with him cheating with anyone he could find.
Full Stomach
How many times does a girl hear that the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach? So many times, I believed it. As a little girl, I helped my mom in the kitchen, and by the time I graduated high school, I was an expert cook. I married my college sweetheart and spoiled him with my cooking. I cooked fresh meals every day, bought everything at the market, created gourmet dishes, and even took cooking classes. In return, he left me for a woman who’s never even held a wooden spoon. A mutual friend told me either my ex cooks or they order takeout because she doesn’t cook. So much for my culinary skills…
