Truths that are easy to agree with but much harder to live by.
The Test
A man starts testing your boundaries right from the start. Be mindful of how much you allow, because you’re teaching him what’s acceptable with you going forward. He wants to know your limits and will treat you accordingly. If you set a boundary and he crosses it, you can call it a mistake the first time—but after that, it’s a conscious choice.
Victim Mentality
Watch out for a man who plays the victim. This mindset is so far from growth that anyone who blames circumstances or situations will always find problems but never solutions. If you sense victim mentality, know that every misunderstanding or argument will end with him blaming someone else. And who becomes the scapegoat? Naturally, you.
That Certain Complex
Not everyone has the fortune of an ideal, kind-hearted mother, but a man who speaks badly about his mother hasn’t learned to respect women. And believe me, you won’t be the exception.
The Goal
A man without a goal is a risky person. Why? Because he’ll expect you to give his life meaning and direction. And if you don’t fill that void—which you won’t—he’ll resent you. As the saying goes, "a man without a goal distracts himself with pleasure" and isn’t the master of his own fate.
Words vs. Actions
Keep your eyes wider open than your heart. Some men are great with big words, others aren’t. The key is to listen to what he says but watch what he does. Big words usually reveal who they want to be, not who they are now. His true intentions show through his actions. What does he do for you—or not? What patterns does he have? How well does he keep his promises? The real clue is how consistent his words are with his behavior.
Fixing Him
You can’t "fix" a man. If he’s struggling with trauma, it’s not your job to heal him—and you won’t be able to. We all have pasts and challenges, and you’re neither his mother nor his therapist. Healing has to come from him, like seeking professional help. Never approach a potential partner thinking you’ll change him. A man isn’t a project to work on, and deep down, you know some things just don’t change.
He won’t change because of a woman.
Habits
A man is far more a prisoner of his habits than a woman is. Want to know what kind of person he is and what to expect? Look at his habits, because his routines shape his future. Check who his friends are to see the company he keeps. What does he do with his days and free time? Does he work out, tinker, play music, fix things, or does he just hang out, drink, smoke weed, and play video games? That’s your forecast. He won’t quit or start anything new just for you; during the relationship, he’ll keep doing the same things.
