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"Don’t have a C-section, or you won’t love your baby!" – The harshest unsolicited pregnancy advice

Szőke Angéla4 min read
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"Don’t have a C-section, or you won’t love your baby!" – The harshest unsolicited pregnancy advice — Family
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C-sections are a no-go

C-sections are a no-go
My father-in-law is a wonderful person, but when I was pregnant with my first grandchild and considered high-risk, he sat down next to me, held my hand, and seriously told me I must not have a C-section because then I wouldn’t love the baby. When I asked what he based that on, he said, "Because then I wouldn’t suffer for it."

Eat for two

Eat for two
We went out to eat with friends, and one girl’s boyfriend was shocked that I only ordered one meal. Curious, we looked at him, and he said pregnant women need to eat for two—which means two full meals—or the baby would starve. There was a doctor and a dietitian with us who tried to explain it’s not that simple, but he was stubborn. When the food arrived, he even asked if I was sure I didn’t want to eat his meal too.

Hit back if baby kicks

Hit back if baby kicks
My mother-in-law saw me closing my eyes and placing my hand on my belly because the baby was moving a lot and said, "Hit back if it kicks!" My husband and I just blinked, wondering if she really meant I should hit my belly and traumatize the baby in the womb. Since then, "hit back if it kicks" has become a running joke between us.

Smoke to avoid gaining weight

Smoke to avoid gaining weight
My mother-in-law’s sister disapproved of my perfectly normal pregnancy weight gain and advised me to smoke instead of eating, saying, "That’s what she did when she was pregnant with her second."

Don’t cross your legs

Don’t cross your legs
I was on the bus when an elderly lady kindly tapped my shoulder and whispered that I shouldn’t cross my legs. When I asked why, she rolled her eyes at my "ignorance" and said, "Dear, don’t you know? Your baby will have a cone-shaped head!" Even though I told her I’m a doctor and that’s not how it works, she was adamant. So, I kept my legs side by side just to keep her quiet.

Don’t raise your arms above your head

Don’t raise your arms above your head
A young guy kindly helped me put my bag in the overhead compartment on the train, even though it wasn’t heavy. I thanked him, and he said it’s natural because pregnant women shouldn’t raise their arms above their heads. I furrowed my brow and asked why. He looked at me wide-eyed and said the umbilical cord wraps around the baby’s neck when you do, and raising your arms "practically hangs the baby."

Don’t drink hot tea

Don’t drink hot tea
An elderly man in a café almost snatched the hot tea from my hand—wintertime, and it felt good—saying if I drank it, I’d "cook the baby." He wasn’t joking; he truly believed it.

Drink cod liver oil vodka cocktails

Drink cod liver oil vodka cocktails
I went overdue with my first child, but luckily my husband’s coworker gave me the ultimate tip: mix cod liver oil with vodka (!) to get severe diarrhea, which would "activate" labor contractions. I wisely skipped trying that miracle cocktail.

Choose epidural

Choose epidural
My boss asked if I was going to have an epidural. I said I wasn’t sure yet (I’d just found out I was pregnant two weeks earlier). He rolled his eyes and said, "Don’t suffer—we don’t need martyrs anymore."

Don’t gain more than 11 pounds (5 kg)

Don’t gain more than 11 pounds (5 kg)
A mother of two standing behind me in line at the store felt it was her duty to tell me I was too big because if a pregnant woman gains more than 11 pounds (5 kg), her child will be overweight for life. That nonsense caught me so off guard, I just told her I’d stop eating until delivery.
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