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For Years I Thought I Was Depressed, But It Was ADHD All Along

Szőke Angéla3 min read
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For Years I Thought I Was Depressed, But It Was ADHD All Along — Lifestyle
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Improvement

When I started taking ADHD medication, my doctor was amazed at how much my mental health test scores improved in just four weeks. Until then, my medical record said "therapy-resistant depression." I don’t understand why it took so long—since I was 12, no depression treatment worked—before a white coat finally thought to test me for ADHD.

Side Effects

Because I was treated with SSRIs—selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors—I now have a heart murmur, all thanks to my ADHD symptoms being mistaken for depression. Thanks for that…

The Idle One

My family called me lazy since I was a kid, but I was always trying my best. As an adult, my husband took on that role, joking that his wife loved to "waste the day away." I always knew I wasn’t lazy—something was holding me back—but I was 37 before a doctor finally listened and diagnosed me with ADHD.

Miraculously, since starting medication, I no longer struggle with "activity regulation." I try not to rub the diagnosis in my family’s and husband’s faces, but it’s hard after years of their hurtful comments making me believe the problem was my attitude.

ADHD
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Cuts

As a teenager, I self-harmed, but my parents and doctors blamed anxiety and depression. I was hospitalized several times before it became clear that untreated ADHD—and burnout from the high expectations I placed on myself—were the real causes.

Giving Up

Three therapists "gave up" on me, throwing up their hands because they couldn’t improve my condition. I recommend every woman struggling with anxiety and depression get checked for ADHD—if nothing helps, no meds or therapy, ADHD might be the reason. (It didn’t help that my mom, a teacher, refused to admit her child had learning difficulties.)

Scattered

School was hell, and work was no easier: I couldn’t focus on tasks because something always distracted me. I struggled to manage my time and prioritize, and if a meeting ran long, I couldn’t stay attentive at the end.

Since my ADHD diagnosis and starting the right medication, all these issues vanished. My coworkers barely recognize me. One even took her similarly "scattered" daughter to a specialist—and surprise: she also has ADHD.

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The Quirky Girl

I was the quirky one who lost everything and never finished anything. Always restless, interrupting others because I couldn’t wait for them to finish. These defining, quirky traits disappeared like magic once I got the right meds.

Mistaken Identity

Multiple doctors diagnosed me with anxiety, depression, even bipolar disorder before a psychiatrist finally saw it was ADHD and saved my life. I don’t blame the others—I just don’t get why there isn’t better training to remind them to run a simple ADHD test on "difficult cases" like mine.

Signs of ADHD
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Breathing Easier

Stimulants slightly lifted my mood but didn’t help me function better. I felt awful for being the way I was. Before ADHD meds, every day was a struggle and I wanted to die. Now I feel so good I want to live forever and make up for lost time.

In Vain

Thinking about taking antidepressants for seven years with no effect makes me want to scream. Doctors said not every pill works for everyone; we just had to find the right one—but none did. Since starting ADHD medication, I finally feel like myself.

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