Pushed Around
We were having dinner at my grandparents’ place, and my daughter didn’t want to eat the tomato cabbage stew. I told her it was okay, she could have soup and meatballs instead. That should have been the end of it, but my dad launched into a monologue about how much he went without as a kid and how his dad would’ve slapped him if he refused to eat something. I told him that just because a kid doesn’t like something doesn’t mean they should be forced to choke it down, and that has nothing to do with his father’s tougher childhood. I remember having to force down every hated dish myself, and it didn’t make me a better person—just more traumatized. Let’s stop making it taboo if someone’s not a fan of squash stew.
Blindly
For them, unquestioning obedience to elders, the police, traditions, and rules is just in their blood. They don’t get why we young people are always pushing back.
Grinding Away
My parents worked from dawn till dusk their whole lives, and they shake their heads when I say I don’t live to work—I work to live.
Ringing
I had to teach my parents that you don’t have to answer the phone no matter what. Back in their day, people really only called when it was important, but that’s not how it is now. Maybe I just want to ask about a recipe, or my sister just wants to chat—it’s totally fine to call us back. You don’t have to drop everything and pick up right away, especially if my dad’s cutting wood with a chainsaw or my mom’s cleaning the windows.
On the Contrary
They still think if a kid is quiet and shy, the best thing to do is tease them even more. I had to explain that this backfires because it just makes the poor kid retreat further into their shell, like I did.
Silence
We don’t talk about what hurts or bothers us. Joy and happiness can be shared, but sadness and anger? Those get buried, and you’re expected to handle it alone—they don’t want to hear about it. (After all, “today’s youth have no reason to be sad since they have everything.”)
Company
My mom thinks it’s totally normal for a parent to have no friends—after all, neither she nor my grandparents had any. She was honestly shocked when I asked her to watch my son while I went out for coffee with friends. In her generation, it was normal for a parent—especially a mom—to sacrifice everything and live solely for their kids. Even now, she looks at me strangely when I say how important my friends are to me.
Straight Up
My parents believed that if a child asks a question, they’re ready for the answer. That’s why my siblings and I knew from a young age there’s no Santa Claus or Easter Bunny, that grandma didn’t just fall asleep but passed away, and our dog wasn’t lost but hit by a car. I tend to be a bit gentler with my own kids…
Arranged
My parents are 75, and they met because their moms knew each other from church and thought they’d be a good match. They introduced them, and within weeks, the wedding was planned. My mom can’t understand why I’m so shocked by this and doesn’t realize how badly it could have gone.
Hoarded
My parents grew up with scarcity and shortages all around, so they still save everything. They never throw anything away because they say, “it might come in handy someday.” I go crazy seeing all the clutter, while they don’t get why I’m so “wasteful” for tossing out a broken bed frame or shoes with worn-out soles.
