Puppet or not
My mom divorced my narcissistic father after 23 years. When we celebrated the divorce, she said she should have known from the start that dad was an empathy-free, manipulative person because he actually told her so. I asked what she meant, and she shared that early in their relationship, they visited my mom’s five-year-old nephew, and dad started playing with one of the kid’s marionette puppets.
“While your dad was moving the puppet, he looked me in the eye and said he can control people the same way. I just giggled then, but that was the first time he revealed his true self.”
Don’t.
I didn’t listen when he told me not to fall in love with him. I liked everything about him—even that. Of course, I fell hard, then it crushed me when he started being distant, giving short answers, and finally disappearing. The last time we talked, I cried asking why he did this to me, and he just said he warned me not to fall in love…
The blame
He always said I didn’t deserve him—and he was right!
Revelation
By the third date, I was so into him I’d already planned my wedding dress and our kids’ names in my head. Between the main course and dessert, we talked about our favorite music and songs when he dropped that he doesn’t really have feelings, so lyrics don’t interest him—only the music itself. I laughed, thinking he was joking, but he wasn’t. He was honest. I should have thanked him for his honesty and walked away then, but I wasted two years on someone who never loved me because, as he said, he simply didn’t have feelings.
Smart
On the second date, he got drunk and said he was the smartest person he knows. Well, he wasn’t joking.
Tender lover
Early on, we had a light chat about sex, and he said he’s pretty selfish in bed. I joked that it was fine, I’d “take care of myself,” and we laughed. Little did I know he expected everything but gave nothing back—and was done in three minutes…
Possession
We’d been together three weeks when during sex he whispered in my ear that he loves me and if I leave, he’d kill me. Ladies, no matter the context, if a man “jokes” about killing you, run immediately—it’s likely no joke.
The joke
He had a great sense of humor and was always joking. That’s why I took even the true things as jokes. We joked around, and I warned him to be careful teasing me because I had suitors lined up, haha! He replied it didn’t matter because I was just a backup to him, haha! Sadly, that was true. I was only “kept” until he hooked up with another girl.
Romance
It was love at first sight. After our first kiss, he said this would be a relationship I’d die for. I thought it was romantic then, not knowing how true it would be. (I almost took my own life because of the emotional abuse.)
Passion
When I told him I wanted a passionate relationship, he said one of his exes already called the police on him. I knew I should have walked away then, but he looked too good, and I couldn’t resist the bad boy vibe. But when I had to call the cops on him because he wouldn’t accept that I left, that wasn’t passion—it was scary.
