Our partner’s mood impacts us as well, so it’s worth nudging them when they’re feeling low.
The Trend
These days, there’s a growing narrative—one I find puzzling—that everyone is solely responsible for their own mood and mental health. But to me, that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t try to lift each other up. You’d appreciate it if your partner did the same, right?
When I’m down—especially in the days before my period—my husband hides behind the door and gently tosses chocolate bonbons at me, which always makes me laugh. My sister’s family handles it differently—they believe if someone’s upset or anxious, you just leave them alone until they feel better. I couldn’t handle that; it feels so cold to me.
Healing Touch
When my husband is feeling blue, I take off my bra, bring him a beer, and let him rest his hand on my chest.
The Collection
My wife collects funny mugs, so I built a huge shelf on our living room wall to display her favorites—and there’s plenty of room for new ones. When she’s down, I pick up a quirky mug for her. I love how little it takes to make her happy; she gets just as excited about every silly piece.
Fishing
My boyfriend loves fishing, but it’s a hobby I don’t join because I get bored easily. Still, when I want to pull him out of a funk, just suggesting a fishing trip is enough to lift his spirits immediately. When it’s cold, I offer to treat him to something at the tackle shop instead, and that cheers him up just as well. We both know what makes the other happy, so it’s easy to brighten each other’s day.
Depression
My friend struggles with depression—likely a lifelong battle—but that doesn’t stop me from trying to lift her mood. (Since she has atypical depression, her mood can temporarily improve with positive experiences.) I often daydream aloud with her about our future: a blue-haired boy and a pink-haired girl, living in a cozy cabin in the woods, picking mushrooms and berries. She always calls me a goofball, but it usually brings a smile to her face.
Distraction Tactics
My wife tends to overthink and blow things out of proportion—turning a molehill into a mountain. That’s when I step in! I know her well enough to realize it’s best to distract her instead of letting her spiral.
I keep listing fun plans until she says yes. “What do you want, honey? A movie, dinner out, billiards, bowling, dancing, a hike?” If she’s too down for anything, I pull out my secret weapon that never fails: shopping!
Haha
When my fiancé is feeling low, I find a silly, exhausting joke and send it to his phone. The worse the joke, the better! When I see he’s read it, I can’t help but laugh—and then he laughs too.
Culinary Comfort
There’s no sadness my husband can’t shake with a tasty treat. I either cook his favorite meal or order something special, with a little tiramisu for dessert. After all, it’s hard to stay down when you’re enjoying something delicious.
Simple
Luckily, men are pretty straightforward, so cheering them up is easier than you’d think. Recently, my husband was bummed after missing a promotion. I hugged and kissed him, then initiated sex when we got into bed. He later told me that even though he was feeling really low, just the hug made him feel much better.
The Silence
I’m convinced that when my wife can talk about her problems, it cuts them in half. So I simply listen. I let her get it all out while I massage her feet—our go-to cure for sadness.
