As a child, dreaming of becoming a ballerina or a deep-sea researcher, my mom always added: “You can do anything, just make sure you earn enough to support yourself and your kids anytime, even from one day to the next.” I didn’t fully understand why she repeated this so often, but her tone and seriousness stuck with me.
Later, I understood. My mom was trapped for years in a bad, abusive relationship. Though she worked, her income wasn’t enough to raise us safely on her own. Financial dependence was one of her biggest chains, and even as a little girl, I knew: I never wanted anyone to limit me like that.
My First Decision: Supporting Myself
This advice sank so deep that since I was 18, I’ve made everything revolve around it. I consciously made sure I always supported myself. I even refused the little help my parents could offer because I felt it would compromise my independence.
It wasn’t an easy path. Lack of money often meant sacrifice and going without. Some months, I counted every penny just to afford a bus ticket by the end. And some nights, I lay awake, anxious about how I’d pay the next bill. Without a safety net, the abyss feels endless and dark.
But I learned to live with that fear. I learned to budget, and over time, shaped my career to maximize my income. Every choice was guided by this thought: “I can’t afford to depend on anyone.”
My First Solid Foundation
I’ll never forget the moment I first stood on the creaky floor of my own 15-square-meter (160 sq ft) rundown ground-floor studio. Holding the keys in my hand, despite the moldy walls and flea-market furniture, I felt I had achieved something. This is mine.
That small piece of ground was proof I could stand on my own. No one could take it away or pull the rug out from under me. In that moment, despite all hardships and sacrifices, I felt strong. That strength came from being financially independent.
Motherhood: A New Dimension
Today, as a mom, financial independence means more than just me. It means I’m safe, and I can create safety for my child. I’m not vulnerable to a relationship or an unexpected life event.
It’s both a responsibility and a relief.
A responsibility because I know everything depends on me, and no one else will pay the bills or support our family.
And a relief because no one can threaten what I’ve built. I don’t have to fear that a fight, breakup, or someone’s whim will suddenly leave me with nothing.
For me as a woman, financial independence means freedom. The freedom to make decisions without financial pressure. To leave a relationship not because I can’t manage alone, but because I want to. To live a life where I stay true to myself.
It also means setting an example for my daughter. Showing her that the kind of strength that comes from standing on your own feet is real—not just theory. That security doesn’t always come from outside but from within, built by our work, choices, and perseverance.
This freedom doesn’t mean I can buy whatever I want. Far from it. Even today, I carefully consider what goes into our shopping cart and often grit my teeth when it’s time to buy new shoes.
But financial independence isn’t about wealth, luxury, or status. It’s about that deep, calm feeling of being in control of my own life. And as a woman—and a mom—that’s the greatest gift I could give myself.
