Have you ever felt like the man you married just can’t stand you?
Straight Talk
During an argument, I asked him directly, "Why do you hate me?!" To my surprise, he didn’t defend or deny it. He said he didn’t know why but that he truly did hate me, and asked me not to be angry. I just stood there—so stunned I even forgot to cry—and stared at him. We divorced six years ago, but I still can’t wrap my head around how the man who once loved me could suddenly hate me.
A Flood of Complaints
My husband constantly complains. He criticizes my cooking—even when I adjust the salt or sugar just like he asks. He’s unhappy with how I raise the kids. When he said I was too lenient, I became stricter, but then he said I was too harsh. He insulted my style, saying I dress like a homeless person, so I bought some sexier clothes.
Now the problem is that I spend too much money and look like a "slut." He gets annoyed if I talk to him because "I never stop talking," but if I’m quiet, he asks why I’m so moody. This started after our second child was born; before that, we got along well. I’m out of ideas and exhausted from always trying to please him but never getting it right. I don’t have family nearby and nowhere to go with the kids, but I don’t know how much longer I can take this…
Projection
I suspect my husband actually hates himself and takes it out on me. He blames me for everything—even losing his job was somehow my fault.
Secretly
My husband seems kind to me on the surface, but secretly he hates me. I can see it in his face. He looks at me like I’m about to make him sick, and when he notices I’m watching, he forces a smile.
Ha-ha
I'm the punchline of all his jokes. Even when we’re alone—though then he’s a bit gentler—he especially loves making fun of me in front of others. My looks, personality, intelligence—nothing’s off-limits. "We invested in crypto, not that Betti understands what that is, ha-ha!" "Betti won’t win any beauty contests, but it doesn’t matter—I married her, ha-ha!" "At work, only my wife annoys me more than my boss, ha-ha!" I’ve been hearing this for ten years. He doesn’t do this with anyone else. Does that mean he hates me?
Deliberate
If I ask him not to wear shoes in the living room, he looks at me and stomps in on purpose. When I ask him to rinse his plate after eating, he leaves it on the table deliberately. If I say no sweets for the kids at night, he gives them chocolate anyway.
It Can’t Be a Coincidence
When I want intimacy, he’s always tired or "not in the mood." Have you ever heard of a man who’s just not in the mood for sex? But when he knows I’ve had a tough day and I’m exhausted, he tries—and if I say no, he sulks for two days.
Second Place
He’s hated me ever since our daughter was born and I stopped being the center of his world. Honestly, he’s offended by it. He gets jealous when I coo over the baby or slip out of his arms at night because the child is crying.
Without a Lover
At first, I thought he had someone else, which explained his unbearable behavior. But he doesn’t. For two months, I followed or called him randomly, and he always answered. He really just goes to work and visits his parents. I’m genuinely disappointed because now I have no explanation for his hatred toward me.
Help
He acts like he resents me. He doesn’t help with anything. I ask him for something, and he refuses, even gets upset that I expected him to, like checking why my car won’t start. I’m always looking for ways to make his life easier, but he won’t lift a finger for me. Recently, my neighbor had to take me to the train station when my car wouldn’t start again—because he refused, even though he was home and could have driven me. He knew if he didn’t, I’d be late for work. It’s baffling.
