Sex
Sex sooner or later becomes boring and there is no role play or prop that can keep it fresh for decades; anyone who says otherwise is lying. I love my husband, but we agreed that sex with each other is like watching the same - otherwise good - movie for the five hundredth time.
Community
When we tied our lives together, I didn't think it would also be a bloody serious economic community of property. We both worked during our marriage, bought what was needed, raised the children, bought a car, went on vacation, etc. We covered the expenses from our joint account. Then after 15 years – amicably – we divorced and to my greatest surprise, my husband bought himself an apartment.
I didn’t have a penny saved, the money in the joint account went to the lawyer and my husband’s moving out. I thought he would go to a rental, but no. My salary over 15 years went entirely into the household, the family, while he secretly saved up. Since then, I tell all my married girlfriends to have a little cheating money because you never know…
Giving up
You give up a part of your life; it’s no longer just yours. If a decision must be made, you have to think of the other person and decide involving their needs because socially, legally, and in the eyes of your acquaintances, you are one entity.
Programs
I would gladly spend more time playing video games, online poker, fishing, and drinking beer, and my wife would surely want to shop more, watch makeup YouTube videos and romantic series, but if we indulged in these hobbies alongside work, we would have no time left for each other. So we both give up a few things to spend time together.
Division of labor
Forget that you will put the same amount of work into the household. Even in the best case, the woman does about 80 percent and the man twenty, if you’re lucky. Somewhere literally everything is done by the woman.
The kitchen
I have to cook every day, even though I hate cooking. I feel like I spend half my life in the kitchen over a pot.
The ring
It’s hard to flirt when there’s a ring on my finger. Just kidding, I don’t flirt because I don’t want to lose my wife, but it’s still hard when I see a girl looking at me at the gym, club, store, or anywhere and I can’t flirt because I’m already committed. I know there are men who aren’t bothered by this, but I look down on them. If you want to cheat, then get divorced and that’s it, you’re free again.
Apart
Sometimes you need to be apart and that’s hard to manage. But a few days of “detox” – i.e., being away from each other – works wonders for both of us.
Balance
Sometimes your careers don’t progress simultaneously. I have been earning more for years and this frustrates my husband and honestly me too. But we promised everyone that we would stand by each other in good times and bad, in poverty too, so there’s nothing to do. I hope that if I get sick, he will take his vow just as seriously.
The bathroom
I never thought the bathroom would be the place of most conflicts for us. We had been together for two years – and married for half a year – when the more serious arguments started. Since we left for work at the same time, every morning there was a fight for the toilet and the sink. He was upset about how long I took to do my makeup, and I was upset that I had to get ready in the stink after his morning big business.
I hated it when he barged in because he had to pee while I was shaving my bikini line, and he hated that my long hair was everywhere in the drain. We agreed that this would end in divorce, so we started serious saving, gave up a few vacations and other things, but collected enough money to move into an apartment with two bathrooms. I say seriously, this saved our relationship.
