Is there a woman in your family who, as she ages, acts worse than a child?
Demanding Behavior
My mom is 63 and divorced from her third husband eight months ago. At first, I visited every two weeks, but she complained so much about feeling lonely that I started going weekly. Now she expects me to check in every day. If I don’t, she gets upset. Then she talks in a whiny voice like a little kid and complains,
you didn’t come because you don’t love your mother, and as far as you’re concerned, I might as well die.
If I do visit daily, she whines about why I don’t stay longer. I’ve been there an hour, but she won’t let me leave, saying "Sweetheart, you just got here, your poor mother has no one to talk to, and you don’t even want to chat with me!" The more time I spend there, the more demanding she becomes. No matter how much I remind her I have a partner, a job, and my own life, she just sulks and repeats that she might as well die because of me.
I don’t know how much longer I can tolerate this preschool-level emotional drama, but my partner is fed up with me barely being home because I’m constantly taking care of my mom.
The Defiant Phase
My grandmother is over 70 and lately she’s going through a defiant phase. No matter what we say, she deliberately does the opposite. For example, I asked her not to go shopping because of the snow, but she went anyway. Of course, she fell and broke her wrist. While she was in a cast, she told everyone she went out because...
...there was no food at home and her family doesn’t care about her.
Willfulness
My mom terrorizes the whole family with her behavior, but it’s always been this way. Everything has to go her way, or else nothing is left standing. Honestly, she throws bigger tantrums than my two-year-old son. Every family gathering revolves around her; everyone watches for her wishes. We eat what she wants, serve food when she wants. My uncle’s family, my dad, my sister, and I all give in to her will because it’s easier than dealing with her outbursts. I don’t think this is normal, but unfortunately, it’s always been like this in our family.
Rough Attitude
My aunt’s latest trick is treating service staff rudely. She ignores security guards, rolls her eyes at cashiers, and recently snapped at a waitress for (in her opinion) bringing water too slowly: "Did it really take that long to fill the glass?" I often apologized profusely to the staff, explaining she wasn’t like this before, she just recently adopted this awful attitude. The family doesn’t know what to make of it, but I told her if she acts like that again, I’ll pay the bill and leave her alone in the restaurant.
Luxury Demands
My mom was never high-maintenance, but she’s getting worse as she ages. Her latest obsession is that since she’s old, I, her only child, am obligated to take care of her. To be clear, she’s 63, perfectly healthy, fit, and has a decent pension. I live alone and pay a mortgage, so money isn’t tight for me.
She expects me to take her out to eat once a week, and recently demanded I pay for her hairdresser because after ten years, she decided I’m bad at cutting and coloring her hair. I do her shopping. She always asks for the most expensive items, gourmet treats I wouldn’t even buy for myself (like salmon), and never reimburses me. Recently, I stood my ground and said this can’t continue, and she burst into tears, calling me ungrateful and saying if I "leave," she won’t leave me anything. I don’t want to cut ties with my mom – the inheritance doesn’t matter – but if this keeps up, I might have no choice.
