Next time, pause before these phrases slip out of your mouth.
The Feeling
“I feel so fat…” This phrase is especially tricky when said by someone thin. Fatness—medically called obesity—is not a feeling but the presence of excessive, unhealthy fat tissue in the body. It’s more than just appearance; underlying causes can include metabolism issues, environmental factors, hormonal problems, and genetics. Don’t say you feel fat because that’s putting down your own body. Instead, say you feel uncertain, uncomfortable, or bloated—these describe your experience more accurately.
The Compliment
“Oh my gosh, did you lose weight? You look great!” We mean it as a compliment, but it implies they didn’t look good before and only look nice now because they lost weight. We don’t know why someone lost weight—it could be due to loss, stress, or illness. And if it’s thanks to a diet, statistics show the weight often comes back. The takeaway? Avoid commenting on others’ bodies.
Really
“Starting tomorrow, I’m really dieting!” Chances are you won’t, and that can leave you feeling down. Plus, “dieting” isn’t a healthy lifestyle.
The Cheat
“Today’s my cheat day!” Dieters often set a day to indulge in “forbidden” foods like sweets, fast food, or alcohol. The diet culture is everywhere, with stores constantly pushing “healthy” options. Saying this suggests strict dieting is the “right” way to eat and cheat days are “bad” foods. This “good vs. bad” mindset doesn’t help us build a healthy relationship with food.
The Flattering
“That outfit isn’t very flattering.” Using “flattering” isn’t very inclusive because it implies what looks good on a tall, thin model might not suit an everyday body.
Losing It
“Don’t worry, you’ll lose the weight soon!” This is often said to women after childbirth. As if that’s the most important thing after bringing a child into the world…
The Sin
“I’m going to be bad today and have some cake.” This implies I’m not like those who regularly eat cake, pizza, pasta, or bread—I’m better because I eat clean. Let’s not call eating a treat a “sin.”
Look on the Bright Side!
“Is your stomach upset? At least you lose a few pounds then!” A colleague once told me this when I said I had a stomach bug all weekend. She said she was jealous because she usually loses weight when sick. But feeling dizzy, weak, and stuck at home for two days isn’t something to envy. It’s not healthy to celebrate weight loss as the “bright side” of illness.
The Competition
“I need to get back to my competition weight.” Our competition weight is usually what we weighed around age 16 or in our early twenties. It’s not helpful to long for that weight 20 years later, especially after illness, injuries, childbirth, or menopause.
The Consolation
“You’re not fat, you’re beautiful!” This stigmatizes bodies that aren’t stick-thin, even though beauty comes in all shapes and sizes. Instead, just say, “I think you’re beautiful.”
