1. Babysitter
I used to quietly judge women who hired babysitters. I thought, why have a child if you can’t always be there? And why ask a stranger when family and friends are nearby? Well, since I had to return to work, my mom is elderly and can’t help anymore, and my friends are busy too, I regularly rely on babysitters. So yes, I leave my child with a stranger—I simply couldn’t manage life without their help.
2. Dependency
I never imagined I’d have to lock away my valuables from my daughter, or even keep them out of the house. But she stole and took everything of value. I also never thought I’d be the one to take my 22-year-old daughter to a rehab center. Everything was perfect until she turned 20, then suddenly she became addicted to drugs and medication.
3. Counting and Consequences
I hated it when my parents said, “I’m counting to three: One, two…” when I was little. Now I use the same method to discipline my kids. Mostly, it works. When it doesn’t, yes, they get a spanking—something I never thought I’d do.
4. Volume
I promised I wouldn’t be the mom yelling at her kids in the middle of the store. Yet, at least once a month, I am that mom. Luckily, I no longer care what others think. I also swore I’d never buy them Barbie dolls, spoil them, or sacrifice my career for them—haha.
5. Plans Gone Up in Smoke
I never thought I’d become the stressed, impatient mom who snaps “Because I said so!” when her child asks “Why?” But when they ask a thousand times a day, what else can you do? I also didn’t want them to pick up my nail-biting, but my five-year-old still chews her fingers just like me. I promised to quit before giving birth, but it didn’t happen. I’ve had to let go of many things, but I no longer beat myself up over it.
6. Denial
I planned to be best friends with my son, but at 21, I had to cut ties after he attacked his mother while drunk—and he’s never apologized. It’s my biggest heartbreak that I have no relationship with one of my children. Life hit me again when I had to tell my other child that their mother has cancer and only months left.
7. Screen Time
“No screens until age five!” was my strict rule. Then reality hit: sometimes you just don’t have the energy because a million other things demand your attention. I never thought I’d say before bedtime, “Okay, I’ll be right there, but watch one more show.” I planned to read them meaningful stories every night, but that didn’t always happen.
8. Negotiation
Oh, how I used to look down on my sister for bribing her nieces with chocolate and toys just to keep them quiet and well-behaved. Now, my husband and I do the same. Serious “negotiations” happen before every visit because there’s no such thing as them behaving “just because”. Christmas and birthdays are the most effective times—they really step up for the best gifts.
9. Expenses
I never dreamed I’d have to regularly pay off the debts of my gambling-addicted child.
10. Diet
I promised my baby wouldn’t grow up on formula—then surprise, I had no milk. I vowed they’d never eat sugary treats, but the organic food plan quickly fell apart. “I’ll never take them to McDonald’s!” That didn’t happen either.
