Some dads experience mood struggles after their baby arrives, yet few admit it.
No Life?!
He said he was depressed and felt like he had no life—working all day, then coming home to care for the baby. I explained that, unfortunately, that’s part of becoming a parent. I couldn’t help but laugh quietly to myself—here I was, the one who gave birth, and he’s the one feeling down?!
Friends...
I’m the dad who went through pretty serious postpartum depression. I was the last among my friends to have a child, and all I ever heard from them was how amazing fatherhood is.
Every comment seemed to invite me to join in and share this wonderful experience. When my daughter was born, they laughed and said, “Haha, you fell for it too—come suffer with us!” I resented them for hiding the real challenges of having a child. That negative feeling, combined with six months of sleepless nights and stress in my marriage, overwhelmed me. I struggled with depression for a year and a half, and only professional help pulled me through.
Packed Up and Left
One evening, my husband silently packed and said he needed to leave for a week, or else he might harm himself. I understand paternal postpartum depression, but I have to say: while men can step away to regroup, moms rarely get that luxury.
A Huge Responsibility
For me, it all started when the weight of responsibility suddenly hit hard. Holding that tiny, helpless little being in my hands, my heart filled with love—but then I realized she and her mom depended on me. What if I lost my job, got sick, or had an accident? That pressure crushed me. I felt anxious, had panic attacks, and felt worthless. Eventually, I had to sit down with my wife and ask for help, which made me feel guilty because she already had to care for the baby and me.
Wants His Life Back
One night, my husband collapsed on the bed, tears falling, saying he couldn’t take it anymore and wanted our old life back. It shocked me—he’s a tough guy, and I’d never seen him so desperate. Until then, I didn’t realize postpartum depression could affect dads too.
Missed Workouts and Burnout
Sports have always been my go-to—my way to release stress, process sadness, and channel all my energy. When my son was born, I couldn’t make it to evening workouts because I had to rush home to bathe, feed, and put him to bed. I tried early mornings before work, but after weeks of sleepless nights, even getting up was impossible—those extra 60–90 minutes of sleep were priceless. Over time, the mirror reflected a tired man with dark circles, lost muscle tone, and a growing belly—someone I barely recognized. The frustration of not being able to work out spiraled into a deep slump. I literally lost my zest for life. It was a tough season.
Silent Suffering
We need to talk about this more openly, because my husband suffered quietly and was too afraid to speak up. By the time we realized, he was so deep in it that we had to seek professional help.
I Cried Constantly
Only my dad noticed something was wrong—my wife was too focused on our baby. One day, just the two of us were in the garden, and I suddenly broke down in tears. Dad sat me down, and we talked for three hours—probably more than I’d ever talked with him before. He told me he understood exactly how I felt because he went through the same when I was born. He shared what helped him and how he recovered, giving me advice and hope. Just knowing someone understood made a huge difference.
He Regretted It
I knew something was seriously wrong when my husband said he regretted having children.
It’s Much Harder Without Help
I think our biggest challenge was living far from family and friends, with no support nearby. That isolation drove us crazy—we blamed each other for everything and took it out on one another. I fell into such a deep depression that I wondered if they’d be better off if I wasn’t around. What helped was when my wife moved back to her parents’ for a month. I missed her and our son terribly, but it gave us clarity to see what was wrong and make changes.
