Small tests beat large leaps
Most people who successfully change direction did not jump. They ran experiments. Take one course in the evenings, not as a commitment but as a data-gathering exercise — do you actually enjoy the work, or only the idea of it? Do one small piece of freelance or volunteer work in the adjacent field. Have three conversations with people doing the thing you think you want, and ask them specifically what the bad days look like.
Meanwhile, do the boring financial groundwork: how many months could you cover if income stopped, and what would you need to change to make that number bigger? A cushion transforms the psychology of staying. Once you know you could leave, the job stops being a cage and becomes a choice — and a surprising number of women find that the job becomes tolerable again the moment it stops being compulsory.
How do I know if it's the job or just a bad season?
Look at the pattern rather than the mood. If the dread arrives on Sunday evening and lifts on holiday, and your energy for everything else is intact, that points towards the job; if the flatness is there on holiday too, and you feel equally unenthusiastic about friends, hobbies and food, that is a sign to look after yourself first and make career decisions later. Give yourself a defined review point — say, three months — rather than deciding in the middle of a hard week.
What if I genuinely can't afford to leave right now?
Then change the terms of staying, deliberately and out loud. Negotiate one thing that would make the biggest difference — a day working from home, handing off the task that wrecks your week, a firm finish time twice a week — and treat that conversation as a real piece of career work rather than a favour you're begging for. At the same time, keep a quiet twelve-month plan running in the background: savings, contacts, one skill. Staying feels completely different when it has an end date you chose.
