For me, self-determination is the foundation of feminism. I don’t believe women’s freedom only matters if the one accepted path is career and independence. And I find it downright silly to think feminism is just another route women must follow, whether they like it or not. If someone wants to build a career, go for it. If someone wants to be a tradwife, that’s valid too. But here’s the real question: how many actually choose this role freely?
The term “tradwife” (traditional wife) has gained attention in recent years, especially through romanticized content on TikTok and Instagram.
These videos show women with perfect makeup smiling as they make breakfast for their husbands, iron shirts, bustle around spotless homes, feed chickens on farms, and tie dried flower bouquets — all while sharing how their lives feel fuller since “rediscovering their true role as women.”
Supporters of the tradwife trend say this isn’t a step backward but a conscious choice. They’re not oppressed housewives but proud pillars holding their families together. Rejecting some modern feminist narratives, they embrace “classic feminine values”: care, devotion, homemaking. By reinterpreting traditional gender roles, they offer what was once an obligation as a choice.
Here Comes the Dilemma
Because although I consider myself a feminist — meaning I believe every adult has the right to decide how they want to live — I still worry.
I believe we should support those who find themselves in traditional female roles. Those who create homes with heart, raise children, provide a supportive background — and feel fulfilled doing it. But it’s also important to ask: how many truly choose this freely, without outside pressure or the need to conform? How many aren’t pushed into the tradwife role because they lacked chances to study, work, or gain independence? How many aren’t influenced by family, religious communities, or partners’ expectations?
Because if someone becomes a “traditional wife” without ever having other options, that’s not a choice. It’s coercion. And while they may seem happy on the outside, inside they might never know what else could have been.
Social media often just reinforces this distortion. Behind perfect breakfasts, spotless living rooms, and smiling faces, we rarely see the shadows: sacrifices, isolation, or possible regrets.
An Instagram photo doesn’t tell us whether a woman choosing the tradwife role truly wanted this life or was raised to believe “this is a woman’s duty,” maybe without even realizing she had other paths to happiness.
I’m not against the tradwife lifestyle. If someone genuinely feels fulfilled this way and chooses it freely, I celebrate that wholeheartedly. Their decision is just as valid as anyone else’s. But my heart aches for those who never got to see their options. And it worries me that more young women see this idealized, romantic life as the only “real female path.” The most beautiful thing in life is how many ways there are to live it.
