Opinion piece: Borka Shoemaker
Work takes up a big chunk of our day—even if we try not to think about it. The truth is, we don’t go to work to make friends or necessarily to find ourselves, but simply to pay the bills or meet up with our real friends. Still, the environment where we spend those daily 8-9 hours inevitably affects us. And in that environment, people play a key role.
For a long time, I comforted myself with the thought that "you don’t have to be friends with everyone". That’s partly true. You don’t have to plan hangouts with every colleague, dive into deep conversations, or like everyone at work. But there’s a line where it’s no longer just about someone not being your favorite person. It’s when they genuinely annoy you, make you tense, or worse, disrupt your daily flow.
The Subtle Impact of a Difficult Colleague
What starts as a small, insignificant annoyance adds up over time. We start our mornings already knowing we’ll have to face them. We avoid certain situations, hold back our true feelings, or over-control our reactions. While it might not look dramatic from the outside, inside it builds constant tension.
This kind of stress easily spills over into other areas of life. We get more impatient, tire faster, and sometimes even bring that bad mood home. Eventually, the question arises: is it really worth it?
Before anyone jumps straight to quitting, it’s worth exploring all the options.
The First Step: Communication
One of the simplest—but not easiest—steps is communication. Not confrontational, but clarifying. Often, the other person isn’t even aware their behavior is bothersome. This doesn’t always solve the problem, but sometimes just saying things out loud helps.
If that doesn’t work, setting boundaries is next (boundary-setting). You don’t have to tolerate everything silently. You can set rules for working together and clearly communicate what’s acceptable and what’s not.
This isn’t about stirring up conflict—it’s about self-protection.
Another option is changing your environment: looking for different projects, switching teams, or involving a manager. The last can feel uncomfortable for many, but sometimes it’s necessary—especially if the problem is ongoing and interferes with your work.
The Final Step: Quitting
And yes, there’s also quitting as a last resort. At first, leaving a job just because of one colleague might seem drastic, but the reality is more nuanced. If someone feels bad in their environment for a long time, it eventually affects their performance, mental health, and overall quality of life. In that sense, changing jobs can be a form of self-care.
That said, there are consequences. A new job is always uncertain, and there’s no guarantee everyone there will be easier to work with. In fact, you might end up facing three difficult people instead of one—just in different ways.
Ultimately, I believe the real question isn’t “Is it worth it?” but “Have we tried everything before making the switch?” If you’ve taken all reasonable steps and still find yourself stuck, quitting stops being an escape and becomes a conscious choice to protect your mental well-being.
