Adults with a Child’s Heart
There are plenty of adults walking around with a child inside them—you probably don’t have to look far to meet one. That doesn’t lessen anyone’s worth, but it’s crucial to recognize when the angry child inside is running the show. Emotionally, true adulthood means making decisions independent of old wounds.
This might mean a parent’s words no longer affect you deeply because you’ve processed past traumas. The truth is, we all carry scars from each other, and it’s healthiest to accept that. Family is the ultimate training ground for the soul, presenting the challenges we need to grow. Without this, life would just be aimless drifting.
The Mystery of the Parental Home
Some people return to their parents’ home with joy, while others do so with a less cheerful smile as they reclaim their childhood room. Then there are those who never really leave. Remember, none of these situations deserve judgment, but everyone needs to uncover the unique mystery and driving force of their own life.
Those who happily and fondly revisit their parents’ home likely had a less traumatic childhood or at least don’t associate trauma with that place.
Unfortunately, not everyone is so lucky. Many return to their old rooms with a lump in their throat. This isn’t necessarily the family’s fault—childhood traumas often form without parents even realizing it. In these cases, it’s worth spending time there because kid mode has likely been triggered.
Turning Off Kid Mode
Parents will always unintentionally cause some wounds, but children grow up to be parents themselves and pass on what they’ve worked through—or not. Since parents are human, mistakes are inevitable. What does perfect parenting even mean? Does it exist? Even the most respected psychologists openly share their struggles with their own kids. Parenting isn’t seamless, even for experts. But as adults, we can work on healing our old wounds. That’s when the responsibility is truly in our hands.
The first step to turning off kid mode is forgiving your parents. This has to come from the heart, not just be a surface statement.
It’s okay to feel anger, resentment, or even disgust during this process—that’s the child inside you expressing itself. But remember, that’s your childhood self’s anger, and as an adult, you have the power to change it. You can even heal your relationship with your childhood home by switching off kid mode. The key is healing your relationship with your parents. You’ll only be free from these patterns if you work through old hurts.
No need to wait for the perfect moment or expert—start now with small steps. A good place to begin is by spending some quiet time in that room you once found hard to enter. Ask the child inside you how they feel, then reassure them they’re safe with you—the best parent they could ask for.
