Do men even love women? Or is it just desire... We asked men about their feelings toward women as a whole.
What kind of female kindness?!
Do I love women? No! Women have treated me terribly my whole life. Starting with my mother, who was strict and never showed love. My grandmother, who only yelled at me. My sister, who beat me as a child. My female classmates, who bullied me. Then my female coworkers, who undermined me. My girlfriends, who cheated on me. And finally, my two ex-wives—one who drained my finances, the other who turned my kids against me. Maybe if I had a daughter, I’d feel differently, but I only have sons, and I can say I’m done with women for life.
Sad
Unfortunately, society is soaked in misogyny. Religion, culture, and male political leaders treat women as second-class citizens and despise them. Even women sometimes dislike other women! Maybe because they’re raised to see each other as rivals...?
Perspectives
My younger brother says women exist to (sexually) satisfy men, nothing else. My uncle says a woman is there to cook and feed him when he’s hungry. My father believes it’s a woman’s job to give birth to and raise a man’s offspring. Clearly, I didn’t grow up in a family where men respect women as people. I try to fight this; my wife is my best friend. I have male buddies, but my true friends are all women—I prefer their company.
A tormenting question
Women are smaller, more vulnerable, and we desire them—our whole lives revolve around chasing those desires. But can you truly respect and love something weaker than you that you’re basically addicted to? Not really.
As a person
I once asked my friends what they love about their partners. They listed many things like: “big breasts, round butt, evening massages, amazing cooking, great with the kids, keeps the house in order, handles things well, etc.” Physical attraction came up a lot, but beyond childcare, nothing mentioned couldn’t be outsourced to a housekeeper, masseuse, or chef. None said they loved their partner’s intelligence, wit, resourcefulness, talent, or knowledge. And these friends aren’t clueless—they’re genuinely good guys. You can draw your own conclusions...
The beginnings
As a man, all I can say is that no one teaches us as boys to love and respect women. Maybe we pick up that it’s polite to open doors or help carry heavy bags, but that’s it. We don’t learn to respect boundaries or that “no” means no. We’re taught being masculine (strong) is good, being feminine (weak) is shameful. And what respect is there for someone weak? We see that in gym class, we’re better—so superior—and that our mothers do laundry, cook, and clean after work while our fathers lounge in front of the TV. And as adults, we expect the same from women. Simply put, we don’t learn to treat them as people.
Hard
It’s not easy to love women when they constantly put you down. Whenever I try to meet someone, they dismiss me with a sneer. Online, they ignore me or reply rudely. Once, I tried to help an elderly lady with her shopping basket, and she snapped at me. Another time, I stopped my car by a broken-down vehicle, and the woman backed away scared, yelling her boyfriend was on the way and she didn’t need help. After that, I didn’t dare hold a door open for a woman at an office, and she sarcastically said, “So much for politeness…!” How is a man supposed to be kind and respectful then?!
Different worlds
I love women, but I don’t understand them, and they don’t understand us. Every girlfriend I’ve had was kind and sweet, but I couldn’t have deep conversations with them. They don’t play strategic games like I do, don’t read war books, don’t watch action or horror movies, don’t know about cars or gadgets—and they don’t care. I’m not interested in fashion, makeup, romantic movies, or who’s dating whom. I adore women, but we live in completely different worlds.
Facts
My answer is that as a man, I’ve never had a female role model in my life. Neither have my friends. If there’s no chance of sex with a woman, I don’t seek her company.
Honestly
I have female friends and love them as friends, but—something I struggled to admit even to myself—they’re all beautiful, and I’d gladly sleep with them. Overall, I can say I desire women; respect is optional. I feel nothing for women over 40, except my mother. That age isn’t random—it’s when I no longer find them attractive. There are stunning women over 40, but I’m wired to lose interest because they’re no longer fertile. So if you remove sex and romance from the equation, there’s not much left about a woman that interests a man. I know these are harsh words, but sadly, it’s true.
