If you’re lucky, having distant relatives show up at Christmas is a real joy. If you’re less lucky, it can be a real challenge. You might find yourself stuck for hours next to a nosy, or even mean-spirited, relative. You probably already know the phrase they’ll use to try to get under your skin.
Don’t worry, we’ve got your back! Bold ones can say these comebacks out loud, but even whispering them to yourself can help keep your peace of mind.
1. “When I was your age, I already had X kids!”
Being a mom is amazing—no one can deny that. But it’s a bit much to suggest it’s the only thing a woman can achieve or that truly matters.
This phrase often carries that hidden message. Still, it’s best not to shut down your relative—they’re just trying to start a conversation and even brought up a topic!
Stick with that topic and ask how old they were when they got their degree, got their first promotion, traveled to India, or realized it’s okay to break up with guys who need their underwear laid out every morning.
If they haven’t done those things yet, reassure them that you’re probably just moving at a different pace. While they were having kids, you were ticking off other milestones—and you still have some years left to have kids, so maybe there’s hope for them to cross some things off their list too.
2. “In my day, you couldn’t do things like that!”
Like speaking your mind, dressing how you want, questioning your identity, traveling abroad, or simply making your own choices as a woman. The problem starts when this isn’t just a historical fact but a suggestion that maybe it shouldn’t be allowed today.
Change can be scary, but the best remedy is shock therapy: gently remind your worried relative that not only is all this possible today, but yes, you heard right—even family isn’t sacred anymore!
So much so that it’s perfectly okay to cut ties with those who don’t support your happiness. Maybe everyone should just focus on enjoying the mashed potatoes—they’re just as good now as in the sixties.
3. “You’d look so much better if…”
You didn’t have tattoos, dressed differently, took out that piercing, or styled your hair another way. Heaven forbid, you lost or gained a few pounds!
Since it’s obviously for your own good, it’s polite to thank them first, then return the favor: Aunt Manci could freshen up her wardrobe since ’73, maybe ditch those giant floral prints, and her earrings are out of style too. Luckily, there are great treatments to fade the liver spots on her hands.
If she wants, you can share a cosmetologist’s contact, but if she’s happy in her skin, maybe she should just quietly enjoy it and not spoil your party.
