Motherhood doesn’t always turn out the way a woman expects.
The Sentence
I have three kids and love them dearly, but it was a huge shock when my niece said she doesn’t plan to have children because she doesn’t want to end up like me. I thought many would trade places with me—I’m the proud mom of three healthy, beautiful kids—but no. I learned not every woman wants her life to revolve from dawn till dusk around housework and kids. And honestly, I get it now…
Brain Cells
In my first years of motherhood, I felt like my IQ dropped a bit every month. Isolation, staying home, lack of social life, and the daily monotony slowly drained my brain cells. In the end, I found even my worst day at work more enjoyable than my best day as a mom.
Forgetting
My sister and I have been best friends our whole lives, but since having two kids, it’s like she’s forgotten herself. She doesn’t go out, says she’s not in the mood, and “was never much of a party person.” What?! She used to be the life of every party! Even our mom tells her to get out more because she sees she’s isolating herself—but she refuses. Her world now revolves only around the kids; nothing else happens to her, and all she talks about are diapers, breastfeeding, baby food, and so on.
My daughter is nine months old, but I still have a life and meet my friends. My sister just arrogantly says one kid is nothing and that I’ll understand what being a mom means when my second child is born. I don’t want to lose touch with her because I love her, but her behavior is unbearable.
Isolation
I thought it would be best to stay by my child’s side all the time, but I became the mom who took her little boy to daycare at the first chance just to happily escape back to work. I never imagined motherhood would isolate me this much. My husband thought I had postpartum depression, but I was simply lonely.
Body Snatching
My husband is a big movie fan, and I realized I needed to change when he said I reminded him of the aliens in the movie "Invasion of the Body Snatchers," who replace people and turn them into puppets under alien control. At first, I was deeply hurt, but then I had to admit he was right: I had become a zombie.
The Lawyer
I met my best friend in law school, and she was always smarter than me. I was sure she’d go much further than I would because the profession was in her blood. It was a joy to watch her outsmart older, more experienced male colleagues effortlessly—she was born for this career. Then she fell in love with a legal counsel and is now at home with her first child; her second was born nine months ago. You’d think she’s a happy mom, but I see her struggle.
Recently, she broke down and told me she misses the challenge of solving tough cases, the adrenaline of court, and the whole environment. She asked me not to tell anyone, but she admitted she regrets having children. She’s already having issues with her husband and dreads spending at least three more years at home. She fears she’ll "lose her edge," that her career will pass her by, and she won’t be able to fight her way back to the top. Honestly, her story makes me seriously question if I even want kids at all…
Expectations
I wanted to stay home with the baby, and I discussed it with my husband beforehand—there was no other way. He agreed enthusiastically.
I thought motherhood would make me happy, but it didn’t—I’m completely depressed.
I can’t grasp that my life will now be all about constantly dressing, feeding, and running around after a child. Why did I think I’d enjoy this?! My husband wants to help but can’t because he has to work, and I’m going crazy at home.
