Parents mean well with relaxed parenting, but it often backfires.
Center of Attention
My sister-in-law’s daughter is unbearable. We try to have a conversation—but every five minutes she runs over, cuts us off, and demands (not asks) something from her mom. She’s jealous and won’t let her mom focus on anything but her for even a few minutes. If my sister-in-law doesn’t respond immediately, the girl hits her—hard. Not gently: full force. Recently, she smacked her mom’s head with a plastic toy right in front of me. I recoiled, but my sister-in-law didn’t scold her—instead, she apologized for not paying attention right away.
I thought about what would have happened if I’d done that to my mom back in the day… She wasn’t strict, and we still have a great relationship, but children raising a hand to their parents was absolutely off-limits in our home—and rightly so.
Not Funny at All
A 46-year-old colleague laughed as she told me that she and her husband were having sex when their 19-year-old daughter tried to open the door, but it was locked. They told her not to disturb them, so she went out to the terrace and kept banging on the door until they let her in. She was baking muffins and couldn’t find the raisins—that was the urgent matter that wouldn’t leave them alone.
I told my colleague I didn’t find it funny at all. It’s sad when a 19-year-old adult shows so little respect for her parents’ privacy.
The Babysitter
My sister asked me to watch her five-year-old son one afternoon, and I flat-out refused. She was deeply offended. When she asked why, I—who had never said a word about it before—had to explain that I won’t put myself through the trouble of dealing with her child who can’t say hello, thank you, or behave properly. (My nephew is a constant screaming, unpleasant little creature.) This isn’t the kid’s fault but the parents’, who refuse to set boundaries and give in to every demand.
The Entertainment Center
A friend’s son is already ten years old but can’t play alone. He expects his parents to entertain him every minute of the day, never giving them a moment of peace. When I mentioned this isn’t normal, they said it’s because he’s an only child. I’m also an only child, and though my parents paid a lot of attention to me, I still knew how to play, draw, read, and watch stories alone. This kid won’t even sit in front of the TV by himself—a real little energy vampire.
Bedroom Secrets
My brother’s 12-year-old son still sleeps between his parents whenever he wants. I dared to say this isn’t healthy and asked why, as a dad, he allows it. His answer: “It’s not me allowing it, it’s his mom…” I told him if the kid is already pushing his will on you at 12, what will happen when he’s 16 or 18?
Complete Opposite
One friend was raised strictly, so she deliberately lets her child do whatever she wants. Needless to say, the little girl is uncontrollable and talks to her mom like a dog (“You’re poop, mom!”). She tried to enroll her in daycare, but they refused because she can’t behave: if things don’t go her way, she throws tantrums, throws things, screams, and fights. She’s impossible to take anywhere because she’s unmanageable. My friend now fears what will happen when she starts school. I suggested maybe some discipline is needed, but she dismissed it with a sigh, saying she “doesn’t want to restrict her.” I told her that, at best, she’s setting both herself and her daughter up for trouble.
