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"Not just my wife, but my daughter also grew to hate me" – Men share stories about the unexpected fallout of cheating

Szőke Angéla4 min read
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"Not just my wife, but my daughter also grew to hate me" – Men share stories about the unexpected fallout of cheating — Lifestyle
In this article

There’s a saying that most men are just a drink and a wink away from burning their lives down, but everyone has to face the consequences.

The Job

At the company Christmas party, I had a little too much to drink and kissed Fruzsina from finance just as the big boss (a woman) came out of the restroom. She just gave us a meaningful look and walked away. I thought I’d get off with her thinking less of me, but my actions had much bigger consequences.

The next workday, the boss called me in and fired me. She said anyone who cheats on the mother of three kids doesn’t have the "moral compass" she expects. Since she refused to give me a good reference, my career was set back by years.

The Warning

My affair started as a one-time thing, then two, three times, turning into an eight-month all-consuming affair. I lived in constant fear, terrified of being caught, and the stress took a serious toll on my health.

My body sent a clear signal with a severe panic attack, which I knew was caused by my double life. I ended things with my lover, but guilt gnawed at me until I confessed everything to my wife. It was uncertain at first, but she forgave me and gave me another chance. Since then, I’ve been healthy again.

The Circle

We were four best friends since high school. I only told them I met Evelin and loved her, but I couldn’t get divorced because I’d have to split the business and all assets with my wife.

It shocked me when my friends said they would cut ties with me because of this. They said they’d known my wife for almost twenty years and she didn’t deserve this.

The Moment

One weak moment ruined me. I ran into a pretty bartender at our regular spot coming out of the restroom. I helped her carry a crate, and then she kissed me. I swear she kissed me first, but I didn’t stop it.

That was the moment my girlfriend—who wanted to surprise me by coming out for drinks—saw us. A seven-year happy relationship went down the drain because of this, even though I wanted nothing from the bartender and just couldn’t resist the moment. That’s when I learned it doesn’t matter if cheating lasts 7 seconds, 7 days, or 7 years—the consequences can be just as serious.

Lonely man walking away on a road, back view

The Revenge

When my affair came out, I thought my father-in-law would give me a stern talking-to, my mother-in-law would sulk a bit, my brother-in-law would be disappointed, and my wife would be shaken but still give me another chance. After all, we’d been married for 17 years and I’d been a model husband—I just couldn’t resist a 22-year-old bombshell.

I thought they’d understand somehow, but they didn’t. I was kicked out of the company, the house, lost my car, and was completely disinherited. I worked hard for twenty years in the family business and they left me homeless. I couldn’t do anything because they threatened me, and my father-in-law is a powerful man...

The Loss

I wasn’t happy when my affair was revealed, but my wife and I hadn’t had anything—no sex, no love—for many years, so I saw it as a necessary evil. I thought it would force me to move out and start fresh, but I didn’t expect to lose my daughter too.

My daughter meant everything to me, and I never imagined she’d hate me because of my cheating—but she does. She hasn’t spoken to me since. At our last meeting, she yelled in my face that if I could cheat on her mother, I didn’t deserve to be in her life. I was completely broken: if I’d known I’d lose everything because of my affair, I never would have done it—but it’s too late now.

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