Make the room part of the plan
Half the pleasure of an autumn film night is the staging, and it costs nothing. Lamps instead of the overhead light. Phones face down on the other side of the room — a small physical distance does more than willpower. Something to eat that you prepared before sitting down, because pausing at the best scene to go and make toast breaks the spell. If you are watching something with subtitles, put the volume slightly higher than feels necessary; you'll stop reaching for the remote every few minutes.
How long should I give a film before giving up?
Twenty to twenty-five minutes is a fair test for most films — long enough for the set-up, short enough that you haven't lost the evening. If you're genuinely bored rather than confused, move on without guilt. The exception is a film someone you trust has recommended warmly; those sometimes take the full first act to reveal their shape, and it's worth granting them an extra ten minutes.
What if we can never agree on anything?
Then stop trying to agree. Alternating picks, with the non-chooser keeping an open mind for one full grace period, solves this better than any amount of discussion. And accept that some genres are solo territory: watch your true crime on a weeknight alone with headphones, and keep the shared list for the things you both lean forward for.
