When things didn’t go as planned, I’d get frustrated and a bit down, but I never thought my mistakes were fatal. While perfectionism is basically a positive trait, researchers warn it can lead to a long list of health problems.
Perfectionism affects even very young people and is becoming more common. Two out of every five kids are perfectionists, and many face serious health challenges because of it. This doesn’t mean each generation’s dreams are more fulfilled—it means we’re getting sicker, sadder, and less able to tap into our true potential.
Traditionally, perfectionism is seen as a positive value. Striving for perfection is a self-defense tool that helps us conquer the world: it brings growth to our lives. But avoiding mistakes can also make it harder to reach our personal goals.
The downside of perfectionism isn’t just that we can’t show our most successful selves—it can also lead to depression, anxiety, compulsive behaviors, eating disorders, insomnia, chronic headaches, and even early death or suicide.
Research shows the stronger someone’s perfectionism, the more psychological disorders they tend to experience.
The contradiction comes from the fact that alongside healthy perfectionism—marked by high standards, strong motivation, and discipline—there’s also unhealthy perfectionism, where nothing is ever good enough, goals go unmet, and frustration builds.
Perfectionism isn’t a behavior but a way of thinking about yourself. Researchers say striving for excellence isn’t perfectionism—it’s conscientiousness. For conscientious people, this inner critical voice is just part of the process and doesn’t mean their goals are unreachable. For example, if a student who studied hard gets a lower grade than expected and thinks, “I’m disappointed, but it’s okay—I’m still a good person despite this grade,” that’s healthy. But if the message is “I’m not good enough,” that’s unhealthy perfectionism.
The inner voice can criticize many different parts of us: our work, relationships, cleanliness, fitness—and this varies for everyone. Conscientious people find multiple ways to overcome obstacles, but perfectionists see every small challenge as stress, causing them to fail more often. They carry more guilt and shame and give up sooner when things don’t go perfectly—robbing themselves of success.
One study looked at athletes, where success depends entirely on practice and training. When training doesn’t go well, perfectionists simply quit. Publicly showing imperfections brings shame, trapping perfectionist athletes in a vicious cycle.
The WHO reports more young people are struggling with mental illness, depression, and anxiety, with suicide attempts rising in the US, Canada, and the UK compared to a decade ago.
Increasing self-criticism can lead to depressive symptoms, which then worsen self-criticism, creating a downward spiral.
Research found college students facing social and adjustment challenges are more likely to become unhealthy perfectionists.
Some suicides are also linked to perfectionism. Depressed perfectionists think about suicide more often. Studies show they feel they’re never good enough, had overly critical parents, or hold themselves to impossibly high standards.
Breaking free from perfectionism isn’t easy, but step by step, anyone can do it: first, notice when you judge others for their imperfections and try not to overreact. Everyone makes mistakes. We all do. Once you’re good at accepting others, learn to accept your own mistakes without beating yourself up. Celebrate your slip-ups boldly. Done right, this will lower your stress and make you feel way freer.
