The Stigma
After my divorce, I realized how much stigma still surrounds the terms "divorced woman" and "single mom." It felt like everyone looked down on me or judged me, which really surprised me. Even my married friends treated me as if I had some contagious "divorce virus." And another thing: if you haven’t been divorced, it’s hard for others to understand how you could have gone through it.
Occasion Wear
I came home from a party and couldn’t unzip the back of my dress. I had to sleep in it, and the next day the neighbor lady helped me out. But I’m happy to say that was the first and last time I needed my ex-husband’s help.
Flying Solo
I never expected my ex-wife to turn all our mutual friends against me—and that they would believe her. So it was a shock when only my three childhood friends showed up at my birthday party after the divorce. In a way, I’m glad those people are no longer part of my life.
Housing
She moved from our spacious shared apartment to a small studio, and I rented a room for two years because that was all I could afford in the capital. Still, I was much happier without her—even in that tiny, dark half-room.
The Bowl
I keep the festive bowl—where I mix my irresistible and well-loved Christmas punch—on the top shelf of the kitchen cabinet. My husband, who’s 197 cm tall, always took it down for me. At 158 cm (5'2"), I never stood a chance reaching it. There were only two flimsy folding chairs in the apartment, and I didn’t dare stand on them. So, I had to awkwardly climb onto the kitchen counter (almost fell!) to get it down. After that, I quickly found a lower spot for the bowl.
The Bright Side
The hardest part was losing my optimism. I used to be a positive person, but now I look at life more cautiously because I know not everything ends well. I wouldn’t say I’ve become bitter—more like I’ve grown up and lost some of my childlike enthusiasm.
Feeling Like a Failure
I always looked down on men who filed for divorce and broke up their families. Sadly, I became that husband myself. I had no choice, and I didn’t leave the kids—they still live with me—but I see the end of my marriage as a huge failure. After all, what kind of man can’t keep his family together?
Without a Partner
After a particularly rough day, I came home and my wife wasn’t there to listen. She used to hear me out with understanding, offer advice, and say something kind that lifted my spirits. Since our divorce—which I didn’t initiate—I haven’t been able to share what’s bothering me with anyone, and I have no vision for the future because I planned everything with her.
Still Connected
The hardest part—and it still is—is having to communicate and cooperate with the person who hit rock bottom during the divorce proceedings, someone whose memory I’d rather erase from my soul, all for the sake of the kids.
Phobia
I’m terrified of spiders. Whenever I saw one, I’d just squeak and my husband would get rid of it—that was his job. After the divorce, I first felt his absence when I found a big eight-legged spider in the bathtub and had no one to remove it. It was past midnight, so I couldn’t ask the neighbor. I locked the bathroom door and stuffed towels under it to keep the spider from escaping. I washed up in the kitchen sink that morning, and in the afternoon, my brother came over to hunt the spider.
