1. Overconfident
One arrogant male colleague was dead set on becoming a board member. There were two others competing for the role, but he was so sure he’d win that he bragged about it in advance and even bought champagne to celebrate. Out of 1,500 people, only ten voted for him. The very next day, he called in sick and quit a few weeks later.
2. The Collective
My uncle, dad, brother, and the neighbor spent forty minutes trying to fix my mom’s car that wouldn’t start. At 13 years old, I asked if there was gas in it. They rolled their eyes at me. After another forty minutes, it turned out there was no gas in the tank.
3. The Coach
My friend’s girlfriend overheard me arguing on the phone with my fiancée. She stepped in, claiming she’d smooth things over because she’s a “relationship coach,” and asked for the phone. I handed it over, only for my fiancée to yell that she didn’t care how much of a pseudo-mediator she thought she was and demanded the phone back—threatening to come over and kick her if she didn’t. The girl handed the phone back, scared, and stayed silent the rest of the night.
4. The Nap
A mid-level manager was always proud to say that four hours of sleep was plenty and couldn’t understand how anyone could sleep eight hours, calling it “sleeping half your life away.” Then, during a Zoom meeting, he nodded off so loudly that the boss had to wake him up. Everyone chuckled, and he was mortified—never bragged about four-hour sleep again.
5. The Concert
As a teenager intern, I worked with an older colleague who was a know-it-all woman. No matter what story anyone told, she always had a cooler one. She had a story for everything.
I knew most of her tales were made up, but others were fascinated by how many places Klári had been and the celebrities she’d met. In 1986, I watched Queen’s concert in Budapest from the front row.
When I shared this at work, Klári claimed she saw them in a small Detroit club in ’73 and even played cards backstage after the show. I looked her in the eye and said, “Queen first played Detroit in 1975 at the Ford Auditorium and never performed in small clubs in the US.” Klári turned red and left without a word. No one ever believed her cool stories again.
6. The Best
My husband tried to show off in front of his friends and asked our child who the best dad in the world was. The kid pointed at me and said, “Mommy.”
7. The Trick
My older brother told the neighborhood kids that no one’s worse on a bike than me, then tried to pull off the same trick and ended up face-planting and breaking his two front teeth. That was twenty years ago, but I still smile when I think about it.
8. The Target
For Christmas, I gifted the family a group shooting experience. My brother-in-law wouldn’t stop bragging about how good he’d be, based on his army days when he shot better than his superiors. On the way there, he lectured everyone on stance and grip, driving us crazy.
In the end, he shot the worst—my mom even outperformed him. On the way home, he tried to blame the guns being off, but my sister-in-law shut down his nonsense. It was a priceless moment.
9. The Cable
My only male colleague thought he was super smart and refused help while struggling to turn on his new monitor for half an hour. I muttered under my breath that I didn’t really know much, but thought it needed to be plugged in to work. When he saw the unplugged monitor, he swaggered out, and we all giggled.
10. Arm Wrestling
The popular high school guy challenged the fifty-year-old janitor, Uncle Gyuszi, to arm wrestling. The old man was lean but easily beat him—with a cigarette in his mouth. The kid never lived down that
