Bien Logo

When Your Kid Acts Like a Kid, It’s a Problem; When They Have a Tablet, It’s a Problem: Why Can’t I Be a Good Mom in the World’s Eyes?

Schuster Borka4 min read
Share:
When Your Kid Acts Like a Kid, It’s a Problem; When They Have a Tablet, It’s a Problem: Why Can’t I Be a Good Mom in the World’s Eyes? — Family
In this article

What’s really tough is feeling the eyes on me right away. The judgment. The sighs. Or even worse – sensing someone is already crafting a sharp post in their head to share: “I don’t get why I have to tolerate a kid not being perfectly quiet in a restaurant. Sure, the kid sits quietly because they got a tablet, but why not just let kids be kids?”

The truth is, if you’re a parent, you’ve already lost: you can bare your soul, but the world will glance at you for a moment and immediately decide what you’re doing wrong. Because, according to them, you’re definitely not doing anything right.

Social Media Know-It-Alls – Judging for Likes

Recently, I came across a post where someone described in detail sitting in a restaurant while a toddler was throwing a tantrum. The post ended with a blunt opinion: “If they can’t handle their kid, they should stay home.” The same person would probably write in another situation – where the kid was quietly watching a tablet – “It’s sad that kids are already chained to screens.”

This is the most stomach-churning part. People pick a single moment from someone else’s life, completely unrelated to them, and build a post aimed only at sparking reactions. A little outrage, some likes, a few nodding comments—and suddenly they feel validated as opinion leaders. Meanwhile, they’ve stepped into someone’s life at their most vulnerable moment.

Good mom
Source: unsplash.com

No Perfect Solution – Just a Bunch of Imperfect Ones

My biggest issue with these critical posts isn’t that people share opinions—everyone is free to express their thoughts. It’s that they only see the world in black and white.

If a child is tired, cranky, and cries or makes noise, that’s “bad parenting.” If a tablet comes out to keep things calm for at least 20 minutes so the parent can eat or mom and dad can have a grown-up conversation, that’s also a “mistake.” Even if the kid sits quietly watching, that’s suspicious too: they must be raising a “robot kid.”

Real Motherhood Can’t Be Posted About

Most moms I know—including myself—don’t hand over a tablet just because they don’t care about their child’s growth. It’s because they’ve read ten stories, taken them to the playground twice, and even got up with them at night. Screens aren’t a parenting replacement; they’re just another tool in modern life.

Yes, sometimes the spoon slips from the child’s hand, the tablecloth spills, or they loudly ask about something we find awkward. Sometimes, our little one completely breaks down over an emotion they can’t yet handle. It’s not because we failed, but because parenting and teaching are processes. No one becomes a selfish, unbearable adult just because they threw a tantrum at three over getting one scoop of chocolate ice cream instead of eight.

On the other hand, a child taught not to express emotions with the tools they have—tools that will grow more civilized and complex over time—can become a broken adult who doesn’t recognize their own needs. At three, throwing yourself on the sidewalk might be the only way they know to communicate.

Good mom
Source: unsplash.com

What If We Offered Understanding Instead?

Instead of planning our next judgmental post, maybe it’s worth choosing a different path. Smile when a little kid laughs out loud—even in a restaurant. Look away when someone sits exhausted by their coffee while their child draws or watches a story. And most importantly: don’t interfere in others’ lives when you don’t know the full story.

As for the grumblers who don’t understand why there are kids in stores, restaurants, planes, or anywhere they cause inconvenience, here’s my message: feel free to write your sulky posts, but kids aren’t going anywhere.

Like it or not, they’ll be everywhere. If someone throws a fit on social media because the world doesn’t revolve around their needs, maybe they actually have more in common with a three-year-old than they want to admit.

Only on Bienvibe

Original

Related reads

"I Was Still in the Hospital Bed When She Asked About the Second Baby" — Moms Share the Most Unreasonable Expectations They've Faced — Family

"I Was Still in the Hospital Bed When She Asked About the Second Baby" — Moms Share the Most Unreasonable Expectations They've Faced

Three moms open up about the shocking expectations placed on them after giving birth — and the moment they finally decided enough was enough.

Schuster Borka•
What I Do When I See a Child Having a Meltdown in Public — and What You Should Do Too — Family

What I Do When I See a Child Having a Meltdown in Public — and What You Should Do Too

Few things send a parent's nervous system into crisis mode faster than a full-blown tantrum in public. But what should the rest of us actually do when we witness it?

Schuster Borka•
3 things my daughter taught me that made me a better person — Family

3 things my daughter taught me that made me a better person

Before I became a mother, I thought I knew how the world worked. Then my daughter arrived and quietly taught me three lessons that changed me.

Schuster Borka•
The truth about "mommy brain": does having kids really make you less sharp? — Family

The truth about "mommy brain": does having kids really make you less sharp?

Many mothers know the fog of "mommy brain" — the forgetfulness and scattered focus. But research says motherhood doesn't make you less intelligent at all.

Farkas Izabella•
"Mom, why don't you love me the way you love her?" — the question I couldn't answer for years — Family

"Mom, why don't you love me the way you love her?" — the question I couldn't answer for years

A mother realizes she's been giving one daughter more attention and praise — and must face what that has quietly cost the other one.

Váradi Petra•
I thought my neighbor was spying on me — her note left me completely speechless — Family

I thought my neighbor was spying on me — her note left me completely speechless

Every other weekend, the elderly woman upstairs brought homemade baked goods. Then one night, a small folded note fell out from under the plate — and it changed everything.

Váradi Petra•