Exploitation of women starts early in childhood. Actually, it begins even before they’re born.
Women’s stuff
As a little girl, I was already doing the dishes; that was my daily duty, and dusting on weekends. What about my brother? Nothing. It was taken for granted that I was free labor, but he didn’t have to help with housework because he was a boy.
Service
On our third date, the guy and I started talking about kids. He said he wanted several children and casually added that he wants a girl first because she’ll take care of her siblings. I was stunned and speechless. He didn’t understand what was wrong. Even after I explained why it’s shocking, sad, and infuriating to think this way, he just didn’t get it. That women’s service starts before they’re even conceived. That the child is just a plan, but he’s already assigning work to his imaginary daughter. He didn’t understand—and there were no more dates.
The lawsuit
A few years ago, news broke that an American girl sued her parents for "unpaid wages." She asked to be paid retroactively for taking care of her siblings. When we discussed this among friends, the men were outraged, calling it absurd and the girl crazy. I had to explain that she was already a first-year college student at the time. Living in a dorm, instead of partying or earning pocket money, she had to come home every day—and weekends—to care for her younger siblings for free.
It wasn’t her responsibility at all, and she had no time to study. One guy looked puzzled and said his sister also took care of him. I told him I took care of my little sister a lot, too, and asked when they ever looked after their siblings. After a quick survey, it turned out girls babysat their siblings, and some even cooked for their brothers at 13. The boys? They were never trusted with siblings; it was never their job. I told them to think about that—and in my opinion, the American girl’s lawsuit was completely justified.
Default setting
My aunt knows I’m always swamped at work at the end of the month, yet she asks me to watch her child for three days while she’s away. I asked why she doesn’t ask my unemployed brother who does nothing all day. "I can’t ask Zoli, don’t be ridiculous..." Why not? Why can’t a 23-year-old man watch an 11-year-old boy?!
Interesting
By age five, I was feeding my little brother with a bottle. Wherever I played with friends, I carried him along because my parents always told me to watch him. On the way home from school, others went to the park or played soccer, but I had to hurry to the daycare for my brother. I brought him home, fed him what I cooked—I learned to use the stove early—and we stayed together playing until mom and dad came home. It felt natural, and I never thought of it as exploitation until a friend, an only child who never had to care for anyone, made me realize it. She said she can’t imagine how I endured my childhood like that. The saddest part is that my brother doesn’t even keep in touch with me. As an adult, he became a selfish man who’s still my parents’ favorite and cares only about himself.
Maybe one day I’ll tell my parents they could have appreciated my help more than nothing...
Gratitude
We were six siblings. My dad was always working and rarely home, and my mom was often sick. As the oldest daughter, I had responsibilities as a child that my adult brothers still haven’t experienced. By age 12, I was buying medicine for my dad, dressing and packing snacks for my siblings, helping with homework, buying school supplies, managing the kitchen budget, and as a high schooler, attending parent-teacher meetings instead of my mom. Did I ever get even a tiny thank you? Not once.
No thanks
I don’t date men who have sisters. Why? Because in my experience, every "little brother" is a spoiled, selfish guy who expects women to serve and do everything for him.
