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"If your husband smashed the microwave against the wall while drunk, that’s not covered by the warranty" – Unbelievable Customer Complaints

Szőke Angéla3 min read
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"If your husband smashed the microwave against the wall while drunk, that’s not covered by the warranty" – Unbelievable Customer Complaints — Lifestyle
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Directions

Directions
I worked at a mall information desk for a few years and found myself saying things like: You can go both up and down the stairs, yes, both ways. The elevator doesn’t go sideways, only up and down. Fish live in the ocean too, not just the sea. Sharks are fish, by the way.

Backside

Backside
As a receptionist at a small hotel, I had to explain to a gentleman from the Middle East that no, it’s not part of the cleaning staff’s job to wipe his backside. He wasn’t joking—he asked seriously and threatened to "talk to the manager." I encouraged him to do so, but he never did.

True Story

True Story
Dear ma’am, the warranty doesn’t cover the possibility that your husband "smashed" the microwave against the wall while drunk, and no, it’s not the manufacturer’s fault that the device won’t turn on anymore. (By the way, the warranty expired two years ago, but that’s beside the point.)

Customer Service

Customer Service
I had to explain to a young couple that the Electric Company doesn’t owe them money just because their power has been off for a month. We turned it off because they hadn’t paid their bills for months. They looked at each other confused and asked, "So... what?" In another case, I had to tell a middle-aged man that even though he paid this month’s electricity bill, his unpaid bill from last month doesn’t just disappear.

Space and Power

Space and Power
A woman in her thirties and her mother, around 55, were genuinely surprised to learn that a mobile phone’s battery drains faster the more you use it. They also found it new that it’s normal—not a technical fault—that there isn’t always signal in the basement.

Jam

Jam
I worked at a pancake place where a man ordered with a very specific blueberry jam. I told him we had ten kinds of jam, but not that exact one. He told me to go find a store that sells his blueberry jam because he only eats his pancakes with that. I had to explain to a grown adult that restaurants don’t work that way.

Good Intentions

Good Intentions
A friend and I opened a bookstore-café where you could sit comfortably and read all day with just one coffee purchase. Still, we had to explain daily that it’s not free to stay because we’re not a public library but a business that needs to make a living. So many people argued with us about this that we eventually closed the library section.

Common Sense

Common Sense
Ma’am, the CD is inside the case—you need to take it out and put it into the player, not insert it with the case.

Questions and Requests

Questions and Requests
I worked at a ticket office and had my share of adventures. An elderly woman wanted me to guarantee that no one under 40 would sit near her at the concert. A man demanded to know if his ex-girlfriend would be at the concert and, if so, which row she’d be in. Many didn’t understand that once a show is sold out, coming back the next day or later won’t change that.

Airflow

Airflow
No, unfortunately we don’t have a fan that "only blows cold air." What you’re looking for is called an air conditioner.

Photos: istockphoto.com
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