Like a true 21st-century woman, I first learned I was entering the age when perimenopause might knock on my door from social media. A pop-up ad under a video, a post tagged "women over 35"—and suddenly, the topic I had avoided was right in front of me.
I’m turning 37 this year, and while I might still have ten years before menopause officially arrives, it’s possible the first signs will show up this year. Until now, I hadn’t even thought about it.
What exactly is perimenopause?
Perimenopause is basically the prelude to menopause. It’s the phase when our hormones start shifting gradually, bringing along various physical and emotional symptoms. When and how strongly these appear varies for each woman. For some, it’s barely noticeable; for others, it can bring significant changes years before periods stop for good.
Common signs include irregular periods, sleep troubles, hot flashes, mood swings, difficulty concentrating, and weight fluctuations. Many experience increased fatigue, hair thinning, or a drop in libido. While this might sound alarming at first, it’s actually a natural transition—our bodies moving into a new phase.
"Not me!"
I admit, when I first encountered the topic, I instinctively pushed it away. I couldn’t imagine needing to deal with it while I still feel young. I’m in my mid-thirties, not on the doorstep of my fifties! So I just shrugged off the first ads and blog posts, thinking, "This doesn’t apply to me yet."
But algorithms don’t lie.
Over time, I realized the real risk is ignoring the facts I need to face. At the very least, I need to start getting used to the idea that this change will come into my life sooner or later. The more I read, the more natural the topic became to me.
Why is it important to prepare?
The connection between menopause and first periods is clear, even though they’re very different events—both mark a new chapter in our womanhood. Despite this, we handle these topics very differently, and I don’t think that’s the healthiest approach. Thankfully, there’s much more open talk about menstruation nowadays, and most girls get some preparation so their first period isn’t a total surprise. It would be a huge shock if it arrived without understanding what’s happening.
The same goes for menopause and perimenopause. It’s a change, and it’s easier to face when we see it as a natural process, not a taboo.
Yet, many of us didn’t get examples from our own mothers on how to talk openly about this phase. I’m grateful social media has broken the silence, so I won’t have to face this stage completely alone.
Making friends, getting to know each other, adjusting
I won’t lie: it’s not easy yet to accept that my body’s fertile phase will soon close within a foreseeable time. It’s hard not to feel like stepping out of this age means losing a part of my femininity. I know that’s not true, but that’s how I feel.
That’s why I see it as a gift to have met the idea of perimenopause early. It gives me time to get used to it, prepare, and accept the inevitable change.
I need to learn to understand myself: my quality isn’t declining or improving—I’m simply entering a different state. And I believe womanhood has a place at every age. We can find something valuable and beautiful in every stage—not just in our twenties or when having children, but beyond.
Perimenopause symptoms might not be here to annoy us. They’re more like signals telling us it’s time to think about how we want to live the years after menopause. How to keep our health, vitality, and most importantly: how to keep loving ourselves.
Though I’m not fully at peace with this future state yet, I’m less afraid of it. Because I know my womanhood won’t disappear—it will just transform. And making friends with the idea of perimenopause might just be the first step toward embracing the change itself one day.
