Throughout my life, I’ve experienced many financial situations, and it’s no secret that some were much better than where I am now. Still, things aren’t dire—I’d even say I’m lucky: I can provide a stable life for us, with a roof over our heads, food on the table, and room for experiences, books, and even summer ice cream. But I also know none of this is guaranteed, and it’s up to me to keep track of what we spend and where our limits lie.
I spent a long time wondering if kids need to know anything about the family’s financial situation. I don’t want my seven-year-old worrying about money. I don’t want her to feel like she has to give up anything or that it depends on her whether we can afford something. I struggled with this anxiety as a child, and I want to spare her that experience.
At the same time, I don’t want her to think things just "exist" out of nowhere. That behind shoes, food, vacations, and electricity, there isn’t work, time, and energy.
I Don’t Talk to Her About Exact Numbers
She doesn’t know how much I earn, and I don’t feel she needs to—at her age, those numbers don’t mean much. But we do talk a lot about where things come from—not money, but work hours. When she wants something, I don’t say, “That’s expensive,” but rather, “That would take a lot of work right now, and we need to focus on something else.” This way, money isn’t a no, but a connection.
It’s also important that she sees how I handle money myself. I use a budgeting app where I track every income and expense. This has become a natural part of our daily life. So much so that she often reminds me at the store after paying: “Mom, don’t forget to enter this in the app!” Sometimes she even asks to see how we’re doing.
She’s not interested in the amounts—they’re still abstract to her. But the visual part makes perfect sense: like the small green bar showing how much we have left for groceries, slowly shrinking over the month. She sees that if we buy something often, the bar shortens faster, and she also notices how the money we’re saving for summer grows. This gives her meaning without causing any anxiety.
I want my daughter to have a healthy relationship with money as an adult. I want her to neither fear it nor see it as infinite or some vague, untouchable thing.
If she knew: money is a tool, not a reward or punishment.
And above all, if she understood: behind everything we have, there’s work—and when we spend money, we’re really deciding if what we pay for is worth our time.
I don’t know if there’s a perfect recipe for this. But I’m sure honesty, at her level, is worth much more than silence. I’m not teaching her numbers, but connections. And maybe one day, when she truly understands the numbers too, this will be the foundation we can confidently build on.
