I recently came across Alexandra Blogier’s list on psychology topics. It caught my eye because it’s all about spotting when you’re actually doing better in life than you give yourself credit for.
I went through the 10+1 point list, ticking off some items and questioning others. Then it hit me: it’s time to focus on all the things already working in my life, instead of obsessing over what I might be doing wrong.
1. Do You Question Your Goals?
The author says that regularly questioning your goals isn’t a sign of doubt but a sign of growth. That really resonated with me. I’m always analyzing, reflecting, and re-planning (sometimes maybe too much), yet I still make decisions, move forward, and dive into my work. Now I see these questions don’t hold me back—they help me fine-tune my path.
This matters because self-reflection isn’t a one-time discovery—it’s a lifelong, ongoing process.
Checking in on your direction from time to time gives you the chance to become stronger, more aware, and more flexible.
2. Do You Make Time for Self-Care?
The next point is about self-care, and here it wasn’t so automatic to check the box. I had to learn it. I had to consciously give myself time—not just when my body forced me to slow down. Sometimes I still wonder if I’m overdoing the “relaxing” or being too gentle with myself.
Then I realize: eating well, moving, and resting aren’t wasted time—they’re investments in a better version of me.
The list reminds us that self-care isn’t a luxury reward, but a basic life skill. If we don’t learn to put ourselves at the center of our lives, we’ll eventually fall apart—becoming scattered, exhausted, and unhappy. Self-care isn’t selfish; it’s what lets us truly show up for ourselves and others.
3. Do You Rest When You’re Tired?
Yes, now I can and do rest when I’m tired. Sometimes during the day, sometimes at unexpected moments—the freedom of working from home is a huge blessing I’m grateful for every day. But the real point is knowing that burnout isn’t a badge of honor. Though guilt sometimes sneaks in, I now recognize rest as a form of long-term self-care.
The author stresses that constant busyness isn’t an achievement, and stress isn’t a performance metric. Pushing past your limits regularly is a fast track to burnout. Rest shows you respect your body and nervous system’s signals.
4. Do You Have a True Friend?
The list asks if you have at least one truly close friend. It doesn’t have to be many—just one is enough. I not only checked this off but smiled thinking about it. I have several friends, but one relationship stands out as deeply special. It’s honest, calm, and strong—a trust I can rely on unconditionally.
In a world of surface-level connections, a close friendship is rare and precious. These bonds provide emotional and mental resources that support well-being and inner stability over time.
5. Do You Set Goals Regularly?
The author says goal-setting isn’t about big life changes but about staying connected to your future self. Even small, everyday goals help you shape your life actively instead of just reacting.
On personal and family levels, we’re always working on goals. For me, it’s not pressure but a compass. Not every goal has to be world-changing—sometimes it’s small tweaks like changing curtains, gardening a bit, or planning a weekend outing. Yet these moves still push me forward!
6. Do You Sometimes Indulge in Little Luxuries?
This point reminds us that allowing joy is part of well-being. Small treats aren’t irresponsibility—they show self-respect. When you occasionally give yourself a bit of happiness, you’re telling yourself: “I matter, and I deserve care.”
For me, this isn’t about big things. It’s more about small, mindful choices: a great coffee, an exciting book, a trip, or a free afternoon. These luxuries aren’t for show—they’re for my soul, and that’s why they feel so good.
7. Do You Dare to Ask for Help?
There was a time this would have been missing from my list, but not anymore. I ask for help from family, friends, professionals, even my daughter’s dad—no problem. Not because I can’t handle things, but because I’ve learned I don’t have to do it all alone.
The author says asking for help is one of the strongest forms of vulnerability and trust.
Believing you must do everything solo isolates more than it empowers. When you ask for help, you actually connect—and emotionally, that’s one of the greatest strengths.
8. Do You Allow All Your Feelings Space?
I was more cautious ticking this one because I tend to cut off harder feelings, move on quickly, and pretend they don’t exist. But I’ve noticed this and am working on it. And maybe that’s the most important step.
The author emphasizes that suppressing emotions drains a lot of energy. If we can observe our feelings without judgment, we see more clearly what we truly need. Emotional awareness isn’t sensitivity—it’s part of inner stability.
9. Do You Have a Hobby?
This one was easy to check again. I love being in the garden, walking in the woods, picking mushrooms, cooking, and traveling. These are activities where I don’t have to prove, perform, or meet expectations—I can just be present.
Work rarely gives life meaning; it’s what we do beyond it that counts. A hobby isn’t a productivity tool but a source of joy. Making time for things with “no outcome” shows you understand the essence of happiness.
10. Do You Enjoy Being Alone?
I enjoy and need alone time. Not to escape anything—that’s an important difference—but because it recharges me. For me, solitude isn’t emptiness but space: for thoughts, feelings, and new ideas. It doesn’t make me less; it makes me more centered.
The list says loving solitude shows you don’t build your self-worth on external approval. A good relationship with yourself is the foundation for all others. Those who can be well alone don’t run from silence—they embrace it.
+1. Can You Recognize Your Mistakes?
Can I recognize my mistakes? I think so. All of them? Probably not. But I’m increasingly understanding that perfectionism isn’t growth—it’s a heavy armor that doesn’t protect me from what I fear. Accepting mistakes, however, frees and empowers everyone.
The list says chasing perfection is about avoiding shame, not growth. It’s a kind of armor that seems protective but actually immobilizes. Accepting mistakes isn’t giving up; it’s recognizing imperfection as part of being human.
By the time I finished the list, I wasn’t thinking about what’s missing but about how much is already where it should be. Not perfect, but stable enough to see I’m doing way more right than I thought. And maybe that realization is the hardest to check off—but also the most important.
