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Why I’m Totally Fine If My Kid Doesn’t Go to College

Barbara Lee3 min read
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Why I’m Totally Fine If My Kid Doesn’t Go to College — Family

Not long ago, I came across a post in a Facebook group for parents raising neurodivergent kids. A mom was wrestling with whether to enroll her preschooler in a special school for neurodivergent children or a traditional one. This dilemma will sound familiar to many parents raising kids who can be integrated into mainstream schools. Both options have their pros and cons, and since every child is unique, there’s often no clear black-and-white answer.

The dilemma felt familiar—right up until I reached the end of her post. After listing her fears and doubts, she closed with: “... because who could bear the thought of their child only becoming a car mechanic?”

Honestly, I was taken aback. Not just because that sentence was obviously degrading. (Let’s not even get into how I think being a car mechanic is an excellent profession—one that requires serious knowledge, hands-on skills, and ongoing growth. Plus, it provides a respectable living. I’d never see it as a problem.)

But beyond that, I feel like society’s mindset has steered us in a really unhealthy direction. When did we start deciding a person’s value based on their education? When did we begin believing that without a degree, you’re worth less and that only a college diploma can lead to a “good life”?

I graduated from one of the country’s top universities, both undergrad and master’s. I loved my studies because I was genuinely interested in the subject, and I’m grateful I could dive deep into it. To this day, I feel lucky to do what makes me happy and to have had the chance to learn something that brought me joy.

But that’s exactly why I also know: not everyone finds happiness in college, and not everyone thrives in the academic world where I felt at home.

In fact, I increasingly see the myth that “a degree guarantees a good life, and without one you’ll be poor” as not only false but downright harmful.

Today, many careers offer good income, independence, and respect, while many degree holders struggle with unstable jobs, low pay, or burnout. I don’t believe success should be measured solely by educational credentials.

As a parent, I don’t see my daughter’s goal as just earning a diploma. I want her to find what truly interests her, what brings her joy, and what gives meaning to her everyday life. Whether that’s a university path, vocational training, a craft, or a unique alternative career—it doesn’t matter.

I can imagine her going to college someday because that’s where she finds herself. But I can also imagine her learning a trade or taking a completely different path—maybe traveling to Tibet and learning from the elders of a mountain village something no certificate can teach but life values deeply.

As a mom, I hope for two things when my child grows up: to be a good person and a happy one. Neither requires a degree. Knowledge, experience, perseverance, and curiosity can be gained in many ways. And while I’m grateful for my university journey, I’d be just as grateful if my daughter follows her own path—whatever that may be.

So I’m totally fine if she doesn’t go to college, or if she starts but changes her mind along the way. What I want most is for her to own the path she takes. And that will make me happy, too.

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