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Always Hopeful, Always Disappointed — Why I Can’t Stand Christmas

Szőke Angéla4 min read
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Always Hopeful, Always Disappointed — Why I Can’t Stand Christmas — Family
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Grandpa’s breath, endless dishes, and gift letdowns — what do you hate most about Christmas? It’s not everyone’s favorite season.

Work

When I think of Christmas, I only think of work. I’m still working on the 23rd, then rush home to wrap gifts until midnight. The next morning, I get up early and drive three hours to my family’s countryside home, where I jump straight into kitchen duty as soon as I arrive.

After dinner and gift-giving, I tackle the mountain of dishes. My grandfather, father, two brothers, and brother-in-law chat in the living room both when I arrive and after dinner, while my grandmother, mother, two sisters-in-law, sister, and I keep bustling in the kitchen—basically working nonstop. Meanwhile, my husband can’t understand why I want to strangle him when he wonders why I’m tired after what he calls days of “Christmas rest.”

Alone

My parents were only children, and I am too. That means no aunts, uncles, or cousins. As an adult, I have no siblings-in-law or nieces and nephews. After my grandparents passed, holidays were just me and my aging parents—who are gone now too. I’ve been single for three years, spending Christmas alone, and I never feel lonelier than on Christmas Eve.

Young woman standing alone in front of a decorated Christmas tree

No.

The Christmas songs played to death. The moment I hear Mariah Carey’s high notes or “last Christmas, I gave you my heart,” I feel like crying.

Burden

It’s bad enough that everyone’s stressed out by November, but on top of that, you have to shop for food and gifts, then, emotionally and physically exhausted, muster the energy to be pleasant with difficult relatives.

Really Shouldn’t Have…

I love giving gifts and take it seriously. All year, I listen closely to catch what people want and buy exactly that. If I’m unsure, I ask their friends. I don’t skimp on money, wrap beautifully, and make sure my gifts bring genuine joy—this matters to me.

In contrast, my family barely invests time or energy in my gifts—I get the same thing every year. From my mom’s side, pajamas; from my godparents, a kilo of oranges or apples (!); from my brother, a chocolate bar; and from my sister, nothing ever. (Yet they expect me to spend a fortune on all four of their kids…) I’m always hopeful and always disappointed.

Aftermath

Having to take down the Christmas tree! The absolute worst chore in the world.

Woman trying to untangle Christmas tree lights

Same Old Story

The Christmas Hallmark rom-coms with the same plot every time: a successful writer/reporter/businesswoman returns to her small town, rediscovers simple country life, falls for the handsome stable hand/carpenter/lumberjack, and they live happily ever after. Who are these movies for, and how are they so popular?

Early Cheer

That as soon as summer ends, there’s no fall or Halloween vibe—just an immediate switch to Christmas mode. Let November and December be about Christmas, but please, not the entire second half of the year.

Nothing

A few years ago, my family decided to skip gifts because everything is expensive and everyone finds it a hassle. Then they agreed no Christmas tree either, since it’s a pain to buy, set up, and take down. They also decided no big cooking, since that’s a burden too—everyone just brings a snack and that’s it.

And no overnight stays at grandma’s, because that means prepping, cleaning, changing bedding, and more hassle. So now we just visit in the afternoon and leave at night. Fine, we agreed on all this, but then what exactly makes the holiday special? It feels like a quick drop-in visit with no Christmas spirit—so what’s the point?

The Smell

My uncle has really bad breath—so bad it fills my mom’s little house. The moment I step inside, I’m hit by it. At Christmas, I’m not greeted by the scent of fresh cookies, cinnamon, or anise, but by that. Yuck.

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