From the moment we started sharing the news that we were expecting with friends and acquaintances, nine times out of ten we got a cheeky grin and some version of "well, say goodbye to sleep!" or "good thing we’re meeting now, because we won’t for a while." But we weren’t announcing a move to Siberia’s Blagoveshchensk—we were just adding one more to the family. For quite a while, we didn’t even need an extra chair, so we couldn’t really understand the doom and gloom.
Of course, we had no illusions—we knew raising a child isn’t exactly a casual side gig. Still, I say we hadn’t truly known responsibility, worry, and happiness until we held our daughter for the first time. And I’m happy to report that most of the bitter remarks were proven wrong. For example:
1/3. "So, That’s the End of Friendships!"
I won’t say it’s as easy to organize meetups with my friends who also have little kids as it used to be. And yes, it’s true that our dates are now carefully coded, because if we say "let’s meet Wednesday," you can bet one of the kids will be sick by Tuesday night. Still, the truly important friendships have lasted—and even grown stronger. Friends, whether they have kids or not, who invest time and energy so my daughter knows them and they’re part of her life, have become much closer to me too.
Here’s a wild one: we haven’t given up our traditional annual girls’ trip!
Sure, it’s no longer three young women sipping rosé on a vacation terrace, and instead of hitting local pubs, our daily stops are at the playground. But we still find moments to chat between building sandcastles. And at night, after the kids are asleep, we even open a bottle of rosé...
2/3. "Romance Is Over!"
If romance means candlelit dinners with soft music and rose petals on the table, then yes, now it’s more like a family-friendly meal for three with Gryllus Vilmos playing in the background. Instead of roses, there are sweet potato pieces scattered around. And yes, the time spent just the two of us—unless you count those evenings when we’re both so tired we’re practically drooling—is definitely much less.
When we decided to have a child, we didn’t just want a cute face for the family photos, but a cool little human we genuinely want to spend time with.
Nothing, absolutely nothing, feels more romantic to me than seeing my husband holding our daughter, showing her the leaves on the trees. Or when he puppeteers a plush duck from behind the couch, or calmly but with a worried look cleans up the tomato pasta she just threw up. I’ve never been more in love with any man.
3/3. "So, No Traveling Anywhere for a While!"
Considering all the grandparents live about 125 miles (200 km) away—half north, half east—I think our one-and-a-half-year-old has traveled more miles than an old Trabant car. It’s true that traveling now requires a bit more prep and planning.
It’s also true that after packing all the kid’s stuff into two suitcases, figuring out where to squeeze in our own change of underwear and toothbrush is a serious puzzle.
Still, we’ve already been on family wellness trips, vacationed at Lake Balaton, gone hiking, and discovered places in our own city we’d never visited before. So I’d say, if anything, sitting still with a kid is not on our agenda. At most, until we finish the last page of the mouse-themed storybook—because then it’s time to go. After all, there’s so much to see in the world!
